- Welcome to Food Allergy Support.
Posted by becca
- April 11, 2013, 02:28:03 PMI hate to burst your bubble, McC, but have you ever worked in food service? In theory, one hopes for greater attention to detail, but...when it is busy the food can fly all over. Of course, where I worked in HS and where I would currently dine are quite different places and there is greater allergy awareness in food service these days. But I am anxious at every dinner out on a vacation. Away from home, away from our known places, and away from our known EMS and hospitals.
Yes, it does sound like a great trip, but I do think much of it goes over their heads, still. He is a great guy and invested quite a bit of time and energy in getting me more information that I requested. sadly, for all his time, it was sorely lacking in detail for a food allergic person. I feel bad he tried so hard, when I only needed and asked for a phone number/contact person at the farm.
Yes, it does sound like a great trip, but I do think much of it goes over their heads, still. He is a great guy and invested quite a bit of time and energy in getting me more information that I requested. sadly, for all his time, it was sorely lacking in detail for a food allergic person. I feel bad he tried so hard, when I only needed and asked for a phone number/contact person at the farm.
Posted by Macabre
- April 11, 2013, 08:38:06 AMI expect a different level of attention and cleanliness at restaurants-- moreso than other people's homes. I'm all to aware of the cross contamination I create while cooking. But kids....
Poor teacher. I really get why this project is so cool and why he wants it. I do think most of the kids will be a little immature to get the full import of it.
Poor teacher. I really get why this project is so cool and why he wants it. I do think most of the kids will be a little immature to get the full import of it.
Posted by GingerPye
- April 11, 2013, 06:21:07 AM. . . exactly why teachers never eat student-prepared food, LOL.
Posted by becca
- April 11, 2013, 05:48:21 AMWe eat at restaurants, and well, I always wonder about these sorts of things, even after asking, etc... But sometimes, you gotta travel, and use restaurants, and sometimes, you just gotta have some real life fun and experience. But, those are the calculated risks I mention. I am there, or dh is there, we are aware, ready for what could happen, etc...
McC, the clothing is exactly what I was thinking about. Hands on it, jackets hanging in the bowls, etc...
McC, the clothing is exactly what I was thinking about. Hands on it, jackets hanging in the bowls, etc...
Posted by Macabre
- April 10, 2013, 08:50:41 PMOh yeah. Some of those kids will wipe their hands on their clothing after washing their hands (even if that were done thoroughly). You know some of those kids will have had a granola bar or something else that is problematic.
When I think of hand towels in other peoples' homes--that's what makes me more leery of letting DS eat something that would otherwise be safe.
When I think of hand towels in other peoples' homes--that's what makes me more leery of letting DS eat something that would otherwise be safe.
Posted by lakeswimr
- April 10, 2013, 07:24:44 PMThe deal breaker for me in the situation you described is that other kids will be preparing this food. No way. nope. Are they all going to wash hands fort 30 seconds before hand? Are they sure? Would they bet their lives on it? And just by the way, I bought barley recently that has a 'packaged on the same equip as nuts, peanuts' and a bunch of other allergens. I looked at it at home and was surprised. I always check but was rushing that day and missed it in the store. So, plain ingredients aren't always safe.
Posted by becca
- April 10, 2013, 11:04:16 AMHe can learn it's wrong from me or from a trip to the ER. Mine is safer and less expensive.
LOL. Indeed. Glad I'm not the only one that weighs these things this way.
Same here. I have said it right out loud to people that a reaction at a party or event simply ruins it for everyone, not just dd and us.
LOL. Indeed. Glad I'm not the only one that weighs these things this way.
Same here. I have said it right out loud to people that a reaction at a party or event simply ruins it for everyone, not just dd and us.
Posted by CMdeux
- April 10, 2013, 10:39:37 AMYeah-- it is hard. Because you want them to not be so suspicious of every other person in their lives, but yeah-- about this one thing, pretty much you can't trust others.
Trusting someone else is always a calculated risk. Always.
He can learn it's wrong from me or from a trip to the ER. Mine is safer and less expensive.
LOL. Indeed. Glad I'm not the only one that weighs these things this way.
Trusting someone else is always a calculated risk. Always.
He can learn it's wrong from me or from a trip to the ER. Mine is safer and less expensive.
LOL. Indeed. Glad I'm not the only one that weighs these things this way.
Posted by becca
- April 10, 2013, 09:26:05 AMYou guys will like this(not):
The first response I received from my first contact to the teacher, informing him that dd will bring her own lunch:
" If you could share with me any specific foods that should be avoided, I will make sure that she is assigned to a global village where the meal is one she can eat. We have always had success avoiding food allergies."
Surely dd cannot be the first ever to bring a lunch? There are definitely celiac kids who would not be able to eat at all at that farm, based on the 3 meals I was shown. Maybe the first of his students. He is a food guy. Had a bowl of pretzels out for *parents* on conference day. You get 5 minutes, no lie, with each teacher and you are going to need a snack??? His claim to fame is having tried every Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor.
Seriously though, he is a nice guy and wants to make it work. But, sometimes, these things just cannot.
That was when I replied and explained our concerns about preparation, cross contamination, labelling, and the care we take day to day in our home, etc...
The meals themselves are very, very simple. One is ground barley, milk, butter, sugar, salt. Dd might even like that. Another is cabbage, tomato, potatoes, butter, pepper, salt(for the celiac crowd, I presume). I could request she go to a certain group serving a very specific recipe. I could perhaps call ahead and even discuss making it safely, and them knowing she is coming, etc... But, nah. I am tired of it all. I really am. And she does not want to have it anyway. And, the kids all preparing it is not going to be very clean. No way.
The joy of all of this, Lakeswmr, and McC, is, she just might decide to judge it as safe and try something. Ugh! BTDT, and thankfully no reactions. Took a blender drink from a friend at Dunkin donuts. Friend had ordered it and did not like it. So, dd had not ordered it, asked about it wrt allergies and then took it after friend had some, not knowing what she had eaten that day. This *is* a hard time, but usually it is easier than when she was little.
We will have a firm talk that morning. The risk is someone who is trying to be nice and accommodating convincing her it is safe, when we really have no clue. This is hard for her to resist. Grandma does it regularly and just well, just ugh.
The first response I received from my first contact to the teacher, informing him that dd will bring her own lunch:
" If you could share with me any specific foods that should be avoided, I will make sure that she is assigned to a global village where the meal is one she can eat. We have always had success avoiding food allergies."
Surely dd cannot be the first ever to bring a lunch? There are definitely celiac kids who would not be able to eat at all at that farm, based on the 3 meals I was shown. Maybe the first of his students. He is a food guy. Had a bowl of pretzels out for *parents* on conference day. You get 5 minutes, no lie, with each teacher and you are going to need a snack??? His claim to fame is having tried every Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor.
Seriously though, he is a nice guy and wants to make it work. But, sometimes, these things just cannot. That was when I replied and explained our concerns about preparation, cross contamination, labelling, and the care we take day to day in our home, etc...
The meals themselves are very, very simple. One is ground barley, milk, butter, sugar, salt. Dd might even like that. Another is cabbage, tomato, potatoes, butter, pepper, salt(for the celiac crowd, I presume). I could request she go to a certain group serving a very specific recipe. I could perhaps call ahead and even discuss making it safely, and them knowing she is coming, etc... But, nah. I am tired of it all. I really am. And she does not want to have it anyway. And, the kids all preparing it is not going to be very clean. No way.
The joy of all of this, Lakeswmr, and McC, is, she just might decide to judge it as safe and try something. Ugh! BTDT, and thankfully no reactions. Took a blender drink from a friend at Dunkin donuts. Friend had ordered it and did not like it. So, dd had not ordered it, asked about it wrt allergies and then took it after friend had some, not knowing what she had eaten that day. This *is* a hard time, but usually it is easier than when she was little.
We will have a firm talk that morning. The risk is someone who is trying to be nice and accommodating convincing her it is safe, when we really have no clue. This is hard for her to resist. Grandma does it regularly and just well, just ugh.
Posted by lakeswimr
- April 10, 2013, 07:54:13 AMMacabre, my child is younger than yours but I can't picture a time in the future when I wouldn't want to treat him like I would now if he did something like that. I can't picture backing off and letting him decide if his decisions are things I think are dangerous. This thread is giving me a window to the future and I'm not sure I can handle it!
Posted by Macabre
- April 10, 2013, 07:50:16 AMI think it's critical for Jr. High/Middle School kids to go on field trips as possible without us. We made that happen as much as possible and were even more wiling than the school at times (like a 20 hour trip to Hershey Park--I ended up going at school's request.
I talked about it with the school as transition planning, preparing him for greater independence.
So it sounds to me like your plan will not only work for this field trip but will be very useful for her overall.
Do they have peanuts in shells around? Wondering about "nut dust."
An aside--DS does make choices about what to eat--mostly all his. But not fully. There are times when I have no problem stepping in if he's made the wrong choice. He can learn it's wrong from me or from a trip to the ER. Mine is safer and less expensive.
The other night after the Yom Hashoah service we went to, there was a reception. We were not staying for it, but I needed to make a stop at the restroom. In the meantime, he grabbed a lovely fruit skewer. Some had been placed on the same platters as the many varieties of bakery cookies. Maybe the one he grabbed (apparently with DH's knowledge and permission) was on a platter of its own. No matter.
I saw it before he ate it and shook my head, asking him if he knew it was safe, saying it had no doubt been prepared in a place he knew nothing about, and how was it handled?
Yeah, his decision-making wasn't working out very well. It was 9 pm, and he was going to have to stay up late finishing homework. No time to hang out in the ER for four hours, no time for a reaction. No way, no how. And no reason to take a risk that could be irreversible. Two hours ago I had told him about the death the day before of the 8 year old boy from anaphylaxis. And this is the choice he makes?
I talked about it with the school as transition planning, preparing him for greater independence.
So it sounds to me like your plan will not only work for this field trip but will be very useful for her overall.
Do they have peanuts in shells around? Wondering about "nut dust."
An aside--DS does make choices about what to eat--mostly all his. But not fully. There are times when I have no problem stepping in if he's made the wrong choice. He can learn it's wrong from me or from a trip to the ER. Mine is safer and less expensive.
The other night after the Yom Hashoah service we went to, there was a reception. We were not staying for it, but I needed to make a stop at the restroom. In the meantime, he grabbed a lovely fruit skewer. Some had been placed on the same platters as the many varieties of bakery cookies. Maybe the one he grabbed (apparently with DH's knowledge and permission) was on a platter of its own. No matter.
I saw it before he ate it and shook my head, asking him if he knew it was safe, saying it had no doubt been prepared in a place he knew nothing about, and how was it handled?
Yeah, his decision-making wasn't working out very well. It was 9 pm, and he was going to have to stay up late finishing homework. No time to hang out in the ER for four hours, no time for a reaction. No way, no how. And no reason to take a risk that could be irreversible. Two hours ago I had told him about the death the day before of the 8 year old boy from anaphylaxis. And this is the choice he makes?
Posted by becca
- April 10, 2013, 06:52:29 AMIf i were there, it would be different. They do want chaperones, though I am uncertain if they need anymore. However, I am comfortable with her going to the farm itself. We have been to enough barns and farms that I feel comfortable with feed residue issues. Dd has never reacted to that. One thing the teacher did pass along, after he spoke to a contact person, is that anyone with extreme sensitivities to wheat dust, or "undetectable scent of nuts in the air" might want to consider not going to the farm. I hope the teacher learned something from that. It could be a very real concern for some students.
I think dd is old enough to do this on her own, rather than me going and micro managing the allergy issues for her. That means if she decides she feels safe with her own food, so be it.
Of course, in the spirit of the lesson of the day, dd will not be bringing fritos and ramen, lol, so she may not be too happy with the whole foods and such that I pack for her. But, it will be safe.
I think dd is old enough to do this on her own, rather than me going and micro managing the allergy issues for her. That means if she decides she feels safe with her own food, so be it.
Of course, in the spirit of the lesson of the day, dd will not be bringing fritos and ramen, lol, so she may not be too happy with the whole foods and such that I pack for her.
But, it will be safe. Posted by CMdeux
- April 09, 2013, 05:40:43 PMRight-- and supporting her GOOD decision-making at this age is so critical.
She needs to feel in control and as though she is responsible and making good choices for herself-- not that others are judging her or questioning those choices.
We did something a bit like this in Ireland, btw.... made soda bread. I let DD judge how comfortable she was with every step of that process-- offering her yes/no options at every turn.
"The ingredients are very simple, but they are not labeled. Are you comfortable being here? Would you like to just watch? Do you want to try doing the activity but not using an egg? "
And then she was VERY cautious about trying the finished product, which was entirely her decision as well. (Our particular loaf was well labeled, and had been baked in parchment, so no contact with pans.) She opted out of trying any of the other accompanying items served (tea, milk, butter, jam) because of risk.
Respecting her decisions about safety is pretty important. I don't even tread there-- and I'm her mom.
She needs to feel in control and as though she is responsible and making good choices for herself-- not that others are judging her or questioning those choices.
We did something a bit like this in Ireland, btw.... made soda bread. I let DD judge how comfortable she was with every step of that process-- offering her yes/no options at every turn.
"The ingredients are very simple, but they are not labeled. Are you comfortable being here? Would you like to just watch? Do you want to try doing the activity but not using an egg? "
And then she was VERY cautious about trying the finished product, which was entirely her decision as well. (Our particular loaf was well labeled, and had been baked in parchment, so no contact with pans.) She opted out of trying any of the other accompanying items served (tea, milk, butter, jam) because of risk.
Respecting her decisions about safety is pretty important. I don't even tread there-- and I'm her mom.
Posted by becca
- April 09, 2013, 04:34:05 PMTrue dat. On the broccoli.
My point was risk taking, and for kids with FAs, or anyone, what he wants her to do is a risk. It is a risk some may choose to take, but certainly not one I will promote or encourage.
My point was risk taking, and for kids with FAs, or anyone, what he wants her to do is a risk. It is a risk some may choose to take, but certainly not one I will promote or encourage.
Posted by YouKnowWho
- April 09, 2013, 04:08:13 PMBut there is a huge difference between me forcing my child to eat broccoli that I prepared myself, that I know he is not allergic to but realize he is playing the stubborn card rather than forcing her to eat when it's not comfortable.
Our kids have seen us walk out of restaurants that have said they cannot serve us safely or felt uncomfortable with the few options left (if any for them).
Our kids have seen us walk out of restaurants that have said they cannot serve us safely or felt uncomfortable with the few options left (if any for them).