That thread on documenting is pure gold.

Or is it in an old thread called something like, "Do NOT feed this child" ?

ETA -- here is thread I'm thinking of -- old, but has some strong wording when dealing with schools / staff who just cannot seem to get it:

"DO NOT FEED THIS CHILD!"

Quote from: Macabre on March 09, 2014, 09:51:50 PM
What I would want in a plan at this school is that your children only eat what you send or what you've approved. Period. 

One of our members here, ajasfolks2, has created some excellent wording about that, but I can't find it. 

Mac, is what you're recalling in this recreated thread here?

DOCUMENTING  (cya) 

What I would want in a plan at this school is that your children only eat what you send or what you've approved. Period. 

One of our members here, ajasfolks2, has created some excellent wording about that, but I can't find it. 


About your situation, wow. I don't know what to recommend for a private religious school.  Others here have had that experience.  I know of one here who removed her kids from their private Catholic school, homeschooled for a while, and now her oldest can go to a Catholic high school that is different than where he went before.  It has really worked out for them.

If your school doesn't shape up and get it, it may be less traumatic for your kids to switch (or at least your FA child to switch) than to remain.  Ultimately it's about safety, but inclusion is a goal.  This school, unless it receives federal funds, doesn't have to do what it takes to ensure your child's safety OR inclusion.  A public school does.  Some private schools do great jobs with it. 

But if this school isn't even trying, it can mean far worse social consequences than changing schools. And of course, it can have other tragic consequences.

FWIW, my 16 year old son changed schools:
after K
after 3rd
after 8th

All during the summer. Each time to a different community or state.

He is a happy, well-adjusted kid.  The last move was the absolute best. He has great friends. When we drop him off, it's not uncommon to hear other kids yell, "Hey <DS name!>" And this is a large high school.  Three of his teachers last year at conferences said it's like he grew up here. he has made so many friends, found his niches, and is embracing life at his school.

So--changing schools is not the end of the world.  If things deteriorate further socially at school, it could be worse for her to stay.


I'm really sorry you're in this situation.  ((hugs))

And I'm glad you found us. 

Regardless, back to the 504. You're on the right track. We know you've found the form I'm assuming on the district's web page.

Let's start there. You filled out the form, did you contact the district 504 coordinator and request eligibility? If so was it granted in writing? Who wrote up the 504? Are you satisfied with the accommodations--for that matter have you even had a chance to review it?

Then it has to be subsidized somehow which puts another checkmark into the federal assistance category. There has to be something that says what they collect money for, an enrollment form, terms of service, terms of dismissal. When we're talking kids of mandatory age somehow it is on file with the state. They can't have no records at all. I'm sure you signed some sort of enrollment form, waivers, health care forms, etc. A contract is any agreement you signed on to.

You may be thinking of posh schools when it could really mean only grooming for a homogenous student population free of disability they would have to accommodate, a population that does not challenge the environment the administration prefers to cultivate rather than serve as a public accommodation. Whether the family pays or the family is on tuition assistance or the school receives monies elsewhere for that tuition, it's still not a personal favor.

The problem here is there are rules to 504, education law, disability law. You have to match the details of the situation to applicable laws to find which protections are available. While you are outside of the public system you will not be able to invoke the greatest of those protections.

It's going to be a tough set of decisions here, and I've walked what I'm talking because I just came from a small, private religious school of about 50 students max and not an iota of that decision making or negotiation was easy. It was definitely more tuition than $750/year hence why it was independent. I don't know how many would agree or disagree but I have no solution that would make them change in the way you want them to. You could invoke laws as long as you meet requirements, you can seek protections, but none of that will bring them to heel immediately not to mention happily.

Even a 504 will not mean you'll never have a violation or not need to tend to it on a regular basis or find situations that were not well enough covered in the accommodations that need to be addressed. In a small school with this much magnified social drama between parents and administrators it may not be feasible to call violations and remain in good graces with the staff or other parents.

The consensus here will be, yes, absolutely get a 504. But if you want FERPA protection, Title II and 504 with responsiveness from public district administrators who may be responsible anyhow for enforcing the 504 at a private religious school, the more long term solution is a move more directly under their auspices.

Tuition is 750 dollars for the entire year and students don't have to pay if they can't afford it.. There is nothing elite about it.  There are no contracts signed between the school and families..  People just pay tuition if they can afford it.  There is nothing wrong with the public school.. EXCEPT that changing schools is a huge deal for a child.. The kids in their classes have been their friends since they were toddlers.  Switching schools means having to be the new kid.

That would be the choice taking maximum advantage of the 504 momentum for OP. Assuming you've been found eligible by the actual district you could go straight into accommodations making enough headway in to assure you're an integral part of the process.

IMO, the genie isn't going back into the bottle, no. Regardless, know your contract some schools stipulate even if you break contract you still pay for the entire year. I didn't and cited contract in writing along with my pog mo thoin check.

That's what I'm wondering.  Honestly, I'm not sure how you would unburn some of those bridges given the small school environment.

There's really no way to unring that bell.  Gee, thanks to that nasty administrator, KWIM?   

Is there anything horribly wrong with the public elementary school?

Just asking....

The state dept of ed or even public district should be able to tell you if they receive anything from the government. Should, would or will in a timely manner is a different story. Needed to put that caveat in.

Two things to keep in mind since you're in private religious school. 504 will not protect your enrollment because it's a private business contract. I've found the public district people I talked to very nice but completely unaware on how to interface with them, their hands are tied because the law is clear in my case with no federal funds, nor can they weigh in AT ALL on the private contract portion. Though I knew the laws the school made an idle threat to me that I followed up on to call the bluff and catch them red-handed in a lie.  Your contract most likely has some sort of vague enrollment verbiage. On an unrelated technicality they may be able to break the contract. I'd start reviewing that contract like it's the most interesting document in the world right now.

Unofficially, as a private schooler in secular and religious I will give you a peek into how far too many private schools are running right now. It's not just us with food allergies. Families with no special needs find themselves being disenrolled from principal and board of directors drama. I nearly enrolled in a secular private school to get at least Title III protections... until I read the reviews that came up thankfully right at renewal time. Same crap, different school. People on the outs with the powers that be, high turnover rate of staff, automating the curriculum through apps, cutting corners.

I think a lot of private schools set their watches to the late 90s when the economy was better and they were able to cherrypick students that required little or no work to school, and they were able to establish a more lax work culture of conformity because the student body was much more homogenous in ability, socio-economic standing, and little to no special needs accommodations. It's possible to get a good private school experience in isolated instances but in my opinion most have forgotten which way the money flows in terms of student body tuition. All private (or independent if they are so) schools have always relied on the largest donors and accorded special treatment but it's my opinion that the structure of the student body has suffered in that the pecking order is chasing away clients willing to pay tuition but receiving nearly squat in return. The administrators want to preserve the school culture for the select few donating the most money. And in order to do that they will use the wiliest administration tricks to bob and weave around the laws.

Good thought, I will do that.  Our kids have been friends with the kids in their classes for years.  It would be a major change to switch schools and have them start friendships all over.. and our son is older and doesn't have allergies, so we would possibly end up moving him without need, or having kids in two different schools.

I feel so completely violated by how she has handled this process.  So unprofessional and incompetent.  I can handle that she is new to it and wouldn't know the nuts and bolts... but she has not been sincere, and frankly, cruel. 

Marn-- find out if they have USDA funding for their lunch programs.  If so, they are a federal recipient.

Thanks, I appreciate it.  I have no idea where their funding come from beyond church giving, tuition and fund raisers.  The 504 came into play because one night I got so angry that my daughter was once again reacting because her teacher "forgot" that I searched online for food safety, etc, came across 504's, clicked our state and the dept of ed 504 lady came up.  I wrote to her and asked for help.  She called the next morning and we went from there.  The principle may not have even realized it isn't appropriate?  The state dept of ed knew it was a private school though?

I am so green to all of this.. just want two simple things.. want my daughters physically safe at school and I don't want the process to damage them emotionally.

Thank you for the clarification.

For record keeping purposes we're going to reserve superintendent to refer to the actual public school district superintendent because we're invoking federal protections at the local educational agency level, i.e., the school district. Here's the next key question, and I mean really key: How do you know they are what's called a "recipient" of "federal financial assistance" that makes it necessary for them to comply with ADA/504?

I posted some verbiage regarding this from the Dept of Ed above. Worth repeating, per federal regulations a religious entity operating its own private school is typically exempt from ADA. Refer to above what would qualify that private school run by a religious entity as a recipient and therefore subject to the laws we want to invoke. Because if that isn't established there is no going forward with a 504, and assuming there is you're going to have to reach out to the public school district including the 504 coordinator and superintendent.

Marn, I gotta run. Hang in there, someone will tag in after me to help you with the 504 next moves. Many here know what to do with the public district better than I do. The situation you're in right now, yeah, that was me this week. Exactly. So I know how the small private religious school environment goes. But ours was completely independent no federal financial assistance.