Thank you!

Oh I should note that my sister is gluten intolerant. Her testing for celiac pointed to that as a possibility but was inconclusive.

Bookedup : Thank you for your help.  Good to hear another good story about the venue.  Great bakery advise and dinner!!
Tami

I second Maeve with the Ryland Inn. Very accommodating and a lovely place. The only other place that I know of could work for a rehearsal dinner, Maggiano's is very good with allergies and there is one in Bridgewater, NJ.

We have ordered cakes from Bella's Bakery in the past and they are PN and TN free. Their website is no longer active but it would be  worth it trying  to email them: http://bellasbakery.com/contact-us/#.VtbsrObLO-c

I have also had the cupcakes and cookies from Eleni's Bakery and they are very good: http://elenis.com/

Good luck!

Maeve, Thank you so very much.  I'm very grateful!

My sister was married at The Ryland Inn in Whitehouse,NJ, in October. They were able to accommodate our daughter's peanut, tree nut, and egg allergy. In addition, the rehearsal dinner was at Il Monello, in Peapack; they were also able to accommodate her allergies. DD did not have desserts or the wedding cake.

Central and North please.  Thank you so very much.  I can't remember the name of one place but it was on the Hudson river and easy to get to from NY. Very pretty, but they use peanut oil.  I have no sense of direction in NJ.
They would love to be on or near the water.
Again THANKS!

What part of nj? I lived in both north and south so I might be able to help if you have more specifics.

http://glutenfreepassport.com/allergy-gluten-free-restaurants/nut-free-bakeries/

This site lists 2 bakeries that might work...don't know if they do wedding cakes.  They may also have some suggestions for venues. 

How about looking for an allergy support group in NJ that might be able to make some suggestions.

I am in NJ but it is a big state! 

Do you know what town or county they are thinking of? Even just knowing if they wanted North, Central or South Jersey would help.

This is not related to New Jersey, but I thought I would share the idea.  My nephew's wife is PA.  When they got marries in NH, they could not find a safe baker for the cake.  When I heard that I immediately volunteered to make it for them.  They actually wanted cupcakes.  I made 150 cupcakes, in three flavors.  The bride took care of the display, and it came out beautiful.  I don't know whether having someone in the family who can make a safe cake would work for you, but it is a thought if you can't find a safe cake.

Thanks Macabre! My oldest son asked me to post the question.  He thought you all would be a big help in their search.

We have a few members here from that area. I bet there is someone with at least some restaurant knowledge.

Thanks much!  They have been emailing many many places.  It will be a small wedding (85) so they are calling restaurants as well. They are running into lots of peanut oil.  We can bring food for my son, but the bride and groom(my other son) really want him to be able to eat the plated meal.

I got married in NJ, but it was before I knew anyone with a nut allergy, so I can't really help. I think you're just going to have to call venues and ask them about it. FWIW, I got married here:
http://www.peronafarms.com/