Those are good points, My3Guys. I'd thought about calling the mom of the other little girl, but we have had some really negative experiences with other parents since last year, when DD's reaction forced an overhaul of the district's food allergy policies. That's what's held me back--anticipating a really nasty reaction, which could then spill over to the friendship between this little girl and my DD. Oddly enough, the mother and father of this other child are both MDs, too. Not that doctors necessarily know about food allergies, but you'd hope that doctors who work at a children's hospital might have some knowledge of the dangers. I know the mom knows about my DD's allergy, because we've talked about it.

Oops, we posted at the same time!  Glad you had a good meeting with principal! But again, I'd loop in the teacher and other parents if possible.

In addition to having the 504 conversation, if I were you, I may try to build in some added insurance that it doesn't happen again.  I agree the 504 needs to be followed, and they need to be informed that it's not.

Sadly, I'm also cynical enough, being in my kids' cafeteria once a week, that no matter what they promise, or how good their intentions are, it may be forgotten again if your cafeteria looks anything like my school's during lunch.

Do they have assigned seats? Do you know the parents of the child who is eating the egg? If you have a good relationship with them, I would get in touch with them and ask them if their DD could not sit next to yours when she brings that for lunch.  I would also contact your child's teacher as well, and hope that she can support your dd in speaking up or moving seats etc.  Sadly, I wouldn't rely on a 504 alone or a proctor to make sure this doesn't happen again.

At my kids' school, they have assigned seats in the cafeteria that get changed every month.  My DS at age 9 used to seat at the Peanut-free table, and he has other allergies too.  The social consequences were taking their toll, so long story short, I moved him to the regular table this year.  DS' teacher has been very supportive with any suggestions and knock wood, so far it's working well.  I work closest with the teacher though...and we don't have a 504.

I know there are procedures to follow for a 504, I'm suggesting multiple approaches here after you deal with the 504 violation aspect.

Hope you get it worked out!

Thanks again, everybody. I had my meeting with the principal, and I think it went really well. He took a lot of notes, didn't make any excuses, was very apologetic about the problem, and we talked through some solutions. The one disturbing piece of info was hearing that the cafeteria aide had lied about what happened; he'd called her last night to talk about what had happened, and said that she'd told him that she had seen hard-boiled eggs at the table before, but that she'd made the other child move. My DD has no reason to lie about it, and she was very clear that the aide had asked her, "Are you comfortable with that?" and that when my DD didn't speak up, the other kid was allowed to stay there. The principal said he didn't doubt my DD's account, and that he was going to meet with the aide this morning to make it perfectly clear that she was supposed to check in with my DD first thing, assess the food at the table, and then re-seat the other kids, if necessary. He's also going to have my DD's class move from the round tables to the rectangle tables, so that she can have a designated seat on the end, which will make it a little easier for her to have her own space to eat. That table is also going to be designated "ranch dressing free". I've been asking for two years to have the gigantic, pumpable container of ranch dressing removed. The second ingredient in the list is "eggs", ranch dressing is a really messy condiment, and there is NO rational reason to have a gigantic tub of real ranch dressing in a primary school cafeteria, anyway. When I'd asked the food services director last year why they couldn't remove it, or replace it with low-fat or fat-free (egg-free) dressing, I was told, "We've always had it there. The kids love it." Well, I'm sure they'd love a chocolate fountain in the cafeteria, too, but that doesn't mean we should provide it.
Anyway, I think it was a good meeting. I am really impressed by this principal. He is such a breath of fresh air after the last one, who was so dismissive.

Yes, I agree. They should abide by the 504. With a shy child, it's critical that the proctor check in with her because she may not feel ok about raising her hand and calling attention to herself. Maybe they need to make the proctor a checklist she signs off on for awhile until it's a habit. Does she sit at the end of the table with a buffer zone between her and the next child? That always worked for dd because she was so conscientious while eating like your dd.

Quote from: Carefulmom on January 22, 2012, 08:22:50 PM
However, to me the real problem is that the 504 isn`t being followed.  If the 504 says the cafeteria lady checks on your dd at the beginning of lunch every day, then they need to do that.  I don`t think your dd should have to compensate for the fact that they are not following the 504.  It sounds like you are on good terms with the prinicpal.  I would just work on getting that part of the 504 enforced.  Dd had a peanut free table and the cafeteria staff was responsible for making sure that it remained peanut free.  I see this as similar.  If it is the cafeteria lady`s job to make sure that your dd is not sitting next to someone with blatant egg, then I think she needs to do that.

Agree with Carefulmom here - the problem is that the school agreed to do something, and whether the administrator realized it or not before now, they are not following through on their promise.  At this point, I would just make it my goal to make clear to the administration what has been happening, how it is in violation of the 504 that is in place, and ask for a plan to keep it from happening again.

I would be pretty matter of fact about it when you have a meeting - and even though it's hard, would try not to get too emotional about it.  I would say "DD's 504 states that an aide will check the lunch of students sitting on either side of her for blatant egg products.  This has not been happening recently, and DD has confided in me that one of the students sitting next to her has been bringing hard boiled eggs for lunch.  I think that we can all agree that those qualify as blatant egg, and given our past experiences, this understandably makes DD nervous.  What I would like from this meeting is not only an assurance that this will not happen again, but to discuss a plan or routine to make sure that the aide remembers to follow through with the plan."


Basically, for me, at this point, it probably wouldn't be enough for them to say that 'it won't happen again' to me.  I'd ask them nicely to discuss the routine that the lunch aide would put into place to make sure that this would happen.

Good luck - it sounds like you have a good, caring principal, so hopefully you can get this worked out without too much trouble.

Those are excellent points. And I think the reality is that many kids don't understand that the Rainbow Table is, in fact, supposed to be nut-free. "Rainbow" doesn't mean anything in this context. I don't know why they feel a need to be cutesy about food allergies. 
I agree that my first priority is addressing the 504 violation. Clearly the system we delineated in that document has failed in a big way. I suspect the cafeteria aide will say that the lunch periods are chaotic, and that checking my DD's table every day is a hardship. But they agreed to it, it's there in black-and-white in the 504 document, so they've got to figure out a way to do it.

Eggallergymom, I had to use the epi on my dd for egg, so I understand where you are coming from.  However, to me the real problem is that the 504 isn`t being followed.  If the 504 says the cafeteria lady checks on your dd at the beginning of lunch every day, then they need to do that.  I don`t think your dd should have to compensate for the fact that they are not following the 504.  It sounds like you are on good terms with the prinicpal.  I would just work on getting that part of the 504 enforced.  Dd had a peanut free table and the cafeteria staff was responsible for making sure that it remained peanut free.  I see this as similar.  If it is the cafeteria lady`s job to make sure that your dd is not sitting next to someone with blatant egg, then I think she needs to do that.

Have you considered trying to get a table free of blatant eggs?  No ingredient reading, no ban on baked goods like cookies, but just no obvious eggy things?  Kids are messy and hard boiled eggs are crumbly.  What if she touches your dd`s food accidentally?  I always think an allergen eaten with the fingers is higher risk than an allergen eaten with a fork.  BTW, at dd`s school, there was a very obvious sign at the peanut free table.  It said "no peanuts" and had a picture of a peanut with a big line through it for those who were not able to read yet.  I`ve never heard of a nut free table with no sign stating that.  What about subs, new staff, new kids, moms dropping by when a kid forgets his lunch?  I would not be happy about that.  If it is peanut free, I think they need to label it as such.

The "Rainbow Table" doesn't have any signage at all; I was a cafeteria volunteer for the first two years my DD was there and we were told it was nut-free, and that we weren't to clean it (the janitor would clean it with a separate rag and bleach-y smelling water between classes.)  There are two kids who sit there during the second-grade lunch period. One has a peanut allergy, and I believe the other one has allergies to peanuts and milk, though not a LTFA to milk.  They each bring friends to sit with them, and those friends often have the hot lunch. In all of my lunch periods volunteering there, I never saw anyone looking closely at the lunches at that table. Given that, and that my daughter wanted to sit with her friends at her regular table, I haven't pursued it as an option for her.
My DD's table is by no means egg-free. I wouldn't expect that. I'd love it, of course, but wouldn't expect it. Her friends regularly bring in baked goods, sandwiches with mayo, etc. My DD has been okay with that, though we have talked about how to politely ask her friends to move their foods back into their own space, as one of them is fond of putting her veggies and ranch dressing in front of my DD, which was frustrating for her. I've talked at length this weekend with my DD about how as she's getting older, she's going to have to stand up for herself, too--that this is a team effort, and she's leading the team. I want her to feel empowered, rather than terrified about this allergy.  I told her it's okay to say, "I can't eat that, it would make me have a reaction, and I'd like you to move it back to your side of the table." My DD gets this.  But the hard-boiled eggs are a different thing entirely, in my opinion. The chances of her anaphylaxing because a friend is eating a sandwich with mayo are pretty remote. But if her egg-eating friend eats her crumbly, messy egg too close to my daughter, and some of it were to get into my DD's food without her noticing and she ate it, it would be terrible.
Because there was some bullying last year and because my daughter is very shy, I chafe at the idea of her having to ask her friends to leave the table if they're eating foods that are potentially dangerous. I did tell my DD that the next time she sees hard-boiled eggs, she needs to stand up right away, walk over to the cafeteria aide, and ask her to find her a new seat. If the cafeteria aide won't do so, she needs to go to the office and ask them to call me, and then they'll have to deal with a 6-foot Mama Bear. I am NOT shy.
In the meantime, I have a meeting tomorrow with the principal, who answered my email on a Sunday, God love him. He's new and seems receptive.  Other friends have gone to him with food-related concerns and he's acted quickly, so I'm hoping he'll be open to finding a solution.
Thanks again--it feels like we're reinventing the wheel, but I am hoping that all of this might make it easier for the kids coming up after my DD. Hope so, anyway.

Wow-- can your DD gently ask to swap seats with someone else so that she isn't seated next to someone with egg?  I hesitate to recommend that since she is so young, but obviously what the school has said they'll do isn't really enough at this point.  Maybe the table needs an "eggy" seat or two instead??

Is there a sign on the table that says it is peanut free? Does it also say egg free? Are you ok with people eating things with eggs in there? Just not an actual egg?

My 7 year old DD let me know this weekend that a friend of hers, who sits at the same table in the school cafeteria every day, is now bringing hard-boiled eggs for lunch. My daughter's 504 plan says that the cafeteria aide will check in with her as lunch is starting to make sure she isn't sitting next to food that's obviously eggy. I asked my daughter if that has been happening, and she said the aide comes by some days, but doesn't do so every day, and hasn't seen the hard-boiled eggs. The kids sit at tables that are designated by room, but my DD said that by the time the other girl opened up her lunch bag and pulled out the eggs, there were no free seats in their section. The idea of a child eating a very messy hard-boiled egg right next to my daughter makes me want to scream. She's anaphylaxed to a bite of taffy. What would a chunk of actual egg do to her?!
There is a nut-free table, but nothing egg-free at this point, and since kids with hot lunches frequently sit at the nut-free table and the cafeteria staff prepares peanut-butter sandwiches on a daily basis to sell (!), I wouldn't trust the integrity of an egg-free table there, anyway. Last year, after my DD's ana at school and hospitalization, I fought hard for a 504 plan. First one in the district for a LTFA. I felt like I had to pick my battles, so much of it relates to teacher and staff training, Epi locations and food in the classroom. The only cafeteria specific elements were that the cafeteria stop serving main dishes where egg was the main component (they'd served plenty of omelettes and scrambled eggs prior) and that the aide check in with my DD daily to re-seat kids if necessary. Clearly it isn't happening. I've asked for a meeting to talk about a 504 violation. But what should I be asking for? What works?