Good for you for seeking a 504 designation!  Our school life has been so much better since having one.  It's not that mistakes don't get made, but in general the school is so much more aware and committed to sticking to the plan. 

The nurse was very rude to you.  Truly, as the mom of a Kindergartner who is just dealing with this for the first time, she should have cut you some slack.  You now know what to get next year, but your child needs help now.

I would try to work with the teacher on this until you get a 504 designations and sign off on the accommodations.  The nurse can't control what the teacher does.

If you really do think it's an unsafe environment, you can withhold attendance.  We've never needed to do that--even with snacks in the classroom, but you may. 

This is where you start to develop a new skill set.  And the first order is document, document, document.

Part of that is writing a letter of understanding when the situation calls for it.  Do a search for that here. I don't know that you need to do one now, but once you get the 504 in place it can be a very helpful document. It clearly documents your understanding of events and then it includes language that gives the school the opportunity to respond. If they don't--your version stands. 

  I'm sorry you're dealing with this. 

Yes, I think the PP's advice is great.  The documentation is important.  See if your allergist can bump up your appt so you can get your ducks in a row asap.  As for whether to pull your child until that's done, it really is a personal decision.  I would not have been comfortable with my oldest (milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, and mustard with a history of anaphylaxis and asthma) attending in the situation you've described, though.

In the 504 meeting, the first thing you need to do is determine eligibility.  There are a lot of great resources in this section.  I have an accordion file of paperwork printed, highlighted, and tabbed so I could refer to specific points in our meeting.  Our 504 for last  year covered:

- nut-free room
- hand washing at the beginning of the day, as well as before and after eating
- communication with subs/aides
- storage of Epi (D wears his, backup set in nurse's office)
- advance notice of parties; snacks at parties
- no outside groups using classroom
- visitors to room aware of nut-free zone
- nut-free table with no spillable milk buffer at lunch
- encourage self advocacy
- food free birthdays
- no food rewards in classroom or specials
- access to water bottle instead of fountain
- no allergen containers (egg cartons, etc) used in class projects
- parents have option to attend field trips; chaperones trained in epi administration
- D not given food that has not been supplied by or approved by us
- emergency procedures

I may have missed one or two things, but that was the bulk of it.

We are meeting to update his for our new district next week and will also need to address transportation.

Starting K with a multiple food allergic kid is very stressful...I've been there

It sounds like the principal and nurse were rude to you...however, they do need proper paperwork for an allergic child.  My kids wouldn't be able to start school without it in my state.  State laws may vary...but just wanted you to know that for the future.

I found two encouraging things in your post: cafeteria and teacher were initially receptive.  I would try to get allergist's appt pushed earlier, explaining your situation.  Even though it may be really hard to do this...I would try to start over again after the paperwork is in hand.  Acknowledge things got off on the wrong foot, apologize for not having paperwork in, and see where the conversation flows from there.

If you are really concerned for your child's safety, I would potentially withhold attendance until after your allergist appt and paperwork is in.

Another benefit to them showing their objections already before your allergist appt is that you can inform your allergist of what feedback you've gotten so far, and hopefully they can craft a letter requesting the accommodations that you need.  Many times, that will turn a school around.

Unfortunately, some people can claim "allergy" when it's really intolerance, and different parents make very different requests of schools, and it can get confusing and frustrating for the schools.  All that being said, it sounds like the nurse and principal could've definitely handled things better with you.

I wonder if the teacher was agreeable to you and then went and complained to the school nurse/principal rather than tell you her real opinion to your face?  You may not find that out, but something to think about.

I don't have a 504 for my kids, so I can't give guidance on that portion of your question.  Although I know enough that most people will tell you to get the 504 designation first -- get them to agree he qualifies -- and then iron out accommodations.  People find more success that way, and legally, I believe those are the procedures.

Hope this helps and things get better.  I've got 2 MFA kids in school, one now in 5th grade, and one going into K, so I know how stressful this is.  At this point it's easier since I've established a relationship with the school, it will get easier for you too.

I have many questions bear with me. My 5 year old just started Kindergarten today. I have everything in place in the cafeteria and lots of support there. The principal and classroom are another story!  I asked if there could be no peanuts or peanut products in his room he is severely allergic. The teacher was fine with that. I get a phone call today from the nurse having a fit that I haven't gotten all the paper work in. Our allergist appointment isn't till next week I gave them what I had and I guess wasn't good enough. She proceeded to tell me they would allow peanuts to be in his presence till I gave the paperwork she was so rude and unruly it seemed like he was the last thing she was worried about.  I went to the principal with papers from the nutritionist that she faxed me today to see if that would hold them over. She criticized the paperwork and informed me it wasn't formal enough I was just trying to provide something until the appointment. We talked about my 504 appointment I have next week and she said this" asking for no peanuts to be around him or in the classroom will have to  be discussed I mean mam think of the limitations of the children in the classrooms limitations on snacks!!" I didn't know what to say all I could do was cry I mean they really feel like the other parents saving money on a snack is more important then my sons life. Our district has no plan in place for a child with food allergies and when I try to talk with them about this I feel like its over looked he attended PreK here last year and we no issues. I need to know do I need to get a lawyer, pull him out of school I'm just lost and so upset and scared for his life I thought school was a "safe" place now I'm not so sure.  Is there any way I can get advocate or can call someone from state board of Ed or someone that can help.?? Thank you for reading this and any help you offer.  Also since there is no plans for food allergies in place in our district I have no idea what to ask for on the 504?

Evan is peanut anaphylactic also allergic to milk, eggs, wheat,soy and has eoseniphillic esophagitis.
Sarah Johnson