I would trust your instincts, especially with the allergy set you're dealing with.

DS is now 15 but went to a peanut free day care/preschool. They watched TV too much (a few times a week), they did worksheets (seriously) and other stuff I would rather not have had, but they were peanut free. I always sent my son's lunch, but I didn't have to worry about other kids contaminating toys, etc.

Later during the early school years he went to Children's Courtyard in the summers. The car was not to my liking really, but it was okay. Waaaaay too much TV. DS does not have many fond memories of it. But it was PF, and they served lunch, and I checked ingredients. It was safe. We only did that two years, and the rest of time time I cobbled together summer camps (oh--wow--that a LOT of work, trying to find safe places and training staff every week or two weeks with each new camp!).

I wouldn't let your guard down but investigate the food--and take your own if it isn't safe but you think the overall environment is safe.

((Hugs)). This is such a hard thing. I so would have stayed home if I could have.

Welcome!  My dd is 11, but I still vividly remember the toddler years.  Old enough to be away from you, not old enough to speak up for themselves on keeping themselves safe, and at the mercy of whoever is taking care of them.  Very scary.

Do alot of searching the site, and feel free to vent.  Daycare seems to be hit or miss.  Some programs are very good, others not so much, when it comes to FA's regardless of whether it is private or public.  Public programs will get you better available regulations, but that doesn't always mean the workers will follow them. 

You might want to put in your sig line if you are in Canada or the US.  Rules and labeling are definitely different one to the other.  It may help with advice you get.

Thank you all for your insight! The biggest "chain" daycare is a facility that has three buildings in different cities. One is by our house, one is by my office, and one is about 20 minutes away & this place has the worst menu. There's a religion-based daycare that I still need to look into and I have my fingers crossed that it would be a fairly safe place for her to go. But really, I just need to "let go" a little bit and trust the daycare providers to keep her safe. I certainly can't be the only one in my area who is dealing with food allergies. I'm sure they've been there/done that before. It's always something, isn't it? You get through all the newborn/first time parent paranoia only to have something else pop up!

If you haven't checked the 'chain type' daycares, you may want to do that as well.  I used to work for a daycare company that had centers all over the company.  It was company policy that the center was free of peanuts, latex, and overt egg - we did sometimes serve mayo in tuna salad, but eggs were never served at breakfast.  They were very allergy friendly - the center stopped serving apple products to meet my needs as well.

Try your local university for a program or anything owned by public dollars. It sets you up for Title II ADA accommodations. Privately run places only have to comply with Title III, or if they are deemed a religious entity and run their own daycare on private property they are most likely exempt. Having said that, however, we attended a private religious preschool with my peanut & egg allergic child and it was one of the best social experiences of his life. We got a "not on my watch" guardian of a teacher who we really cherish.

Welcome and good morning to you, too.

Crash, I think that many of us have been where you are right now. 

Though my daughter is now fourteen, there is no doubt that those toddler and preschool years were very hard... nowhere was it more evident how NON-normative our lifestyle was/is.

Now, it's mostly hidden and we are accustomed to it so that we sometimes have days where we don't really think about it constantly.

So it DOES get better.  Of course, now I worry about other things.  But it's strangely comforting to worry about your child's peer influences, and boys, and how short is 'too short' for a skirt...

instead of "what is that other kid eating and what will everyone think if I grab my kid and run for the car and omg is that PEANUTS??  what kind of person fills a kid's pockets with $*&#^%^ing peanuts at the library??"

A warm welcome to you.   

Hi and welcome to the forum.  I have no advice other then to say, look around the forum and feel free to ask questions, or sometimes just do some venting.

Hello everyone! I have a 2 year old daughter who is allergic to eggs, nuts (total avoidance for now), and shellfish. We found her egg allergy at 9 months, her peanut allergy at 16/17 months, and her shellfish allergy at 22 months. Each time she broke out in hives where ever the food had touched her skin.

We started our trips to the allergist right before she turned one and had our 2nd annual appointment last week. The mama bear came out when nobody would give me her bloodwork results, then the regular pediatrician's office read them to me incorrectly, saying she was negative when she really just fell below the .35 (.34??) of the test limit. Then the nurse liaison with the allergist's office couldn't get DD's history straight and there were multiple phone calls back and forth until she got it set straight. I was feeling pretty let down this week that nobody was giving me a respectable answer, but I think I have found what I need to know for now. Per the nurse liaison, we're on strict avoidance for another year. We will be scheduling food challenge tests, but apparently the waiting list is 1.5-2 years long and would technically fall after her next yearly appointment.

Right now DD is being watched by my husband's aunt for "daycare" while I work. I've been browsing the local daycare centers and really don't like their menus. Most of them serve peanut butter sandwiches as a 2nd meal option daily. While I feel like I have a handle on keeping her safe at home, I feel comfortable with the bigger world picture right now. Not to mention we've had two separate family members offer nut products to DD over the last two weeks (not her sitter) and I'm just annoyed.