You know, you've got other stuff going on right now. The school stuff can wait, as long as your kiddo is safe.

I hear that. My sellout to the cupcake squad was an elementary curriculum of Singapore math, robotics, penmanship and advanced reading levels.

Thank you everyone.  I have to confess to you that I am whupped.  I know there is no point in complaining and not taking action. I know that no one will advocate for our children but us.  But I have not brought myself to confront this one. I am just too tired. And I am not the best advocate -- but not the worse either.  I think I have done my best to stand up for alot.  So, I have not spoken up -- perhaps will wait for conference to do so.  thanks all for the support.

I'd start with the 504 elig. letter and go from there.   

Ds started off 3rd grade in a similar fashion. The relationship was never repaired. He still dislikes that teacher four years later. In hindsight I should have demanded that he be switched to another class after she displayed her incompetence wrt FA's during the first few weeks of school. It never got better.

This is the same teacher who lied to her boss to protect herself after violating his 504 more than once. It's also the only class where he's ever had any sort of suspected allergic reaction which was mishAdled.

Stay on top of this. If things aren't fixed in the next month, move your kid to another class.

Somehow, somewhere you need to find a nonfood analogy to the "leaving out" of "some" kids and what that does near-term and long-term to the teacher's relationship with ALL students and what it does to the overall atmosphere in classroom AND school.  Make the nonfood example and then do the direct link to the food occurrence.

For example:  would it be OK to have a favorite shiny toy (you pick the example current for kids and local area) -- one for nearly each kid -- let's say, short 4.  First day of school.  Now, let those 4 kids know -- AND the rest of the class  -- that those same 4 kids will never get one of these lovely gifts -- not today, not ever, ALL SCHOOL YEAR LONG.

Would it have been OK for the teacher to have passed out special invitations to a celebration in the cafeteria -- but to be short 4 invites and skipped those same 4 kiddos?

Would it be OK for the school board to pass a $500/month raise per teacher, announce it on the first day of school (publicly) and then name the 4 teachers -- in front of everyone -- who won't be getting that $500 -- ever -- all year long -- you know, JUST BECAUSE?


What does this do the excluded person?  What message does this send to the included group?  What sort of power does this give to the "decider" . . .

What sort of a BULLY climate does this incite and promote?

It's about everyone.  And it always will be.  They have to get this and you're going to have to be THEIR TEACHER.


I'm sorry, hopechap. 

And I'm so sad for EVERY child left out on the very first day of school.   

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Yes, this sucks.  I could deal if it were down the road, but it is offensive as a welcome.  And, of course, if I DO speak up --- there goes my relationship with the teacher -- day one.  Dodos. 

On the other hand, the teacher ALREADY damaged the relationship with students who have food restricted lifestyles.

Better to say something and let him/her know that s/he is going to need to do damage control to reestablish a positive, trusting, and welcoming tone with THOSE kids.

YOU didn't do it.  The teacher did.



As long as you can muster "sad/disappointed" in the damage/disappointment being the first thing in the new school year... (as opposed to "you're a moron/how COULD you/anger") it should be okay.

Use the teacher-voice.  Sad puppy eyes.  CONCERN.

I'm not sure what the friend wrote but she could just reference what DOE and DOJ for neutral framework. JMHO.

Yes, this sucks.  I could deal if it were down the road, but it is offensive as a welcome.  And, of course, if I DO speak up --- there goes my relationship with the teacher -- day one.  Dodos. 

On a positive not -- my activist friend in town -- writes a weekly column  -- weekly advice on kid activities -- wrote a piece on food allergy.  She included ALL of my points -- and I think I made some good ones.  She did not use my name, shew.  I had first said no, then felt guilty to not support her advocacy and told her she could quote on anything not to do with classroom (too political). She did not use my name -- which I AM glad of (privacy -- my son's business, etc ) but she sure did use what I had to say.   

Coming from a private school perspective you usually do it because the public school curriculum is so borked you're willing to pay a second mortgage to at least get some educational value. Is there any other game in town I'm wondering. When I knew my public school choice was either challenging the "homogeneity" of one public school (and expect racial bullying via principal's impressively coded message), or the school that was bursting into flames and constantly in need of emergency evacuations, AND I was having some issues to work out with private school, I road schooled for a while.

From that time forward we always have a homeschool plan as a backup if we decide to lane change at any point. Not suggesting that to hope cuz I know she's going to know what she wants and we'll support her to the max but when caught... stuck... my failsafe is hit the roadschool.

Anyhow, I was thinking if he's close to HS age it's not a bad idea to start considering college-like 504 but include everything he needs at primary and secondary levels.

ETA: Yes, it always is about some processed foodstuff. Strange coincidence the food we're always needing to get out of the curriculum is nearly all junk food. With the exceptions for specific allergen free room it's never having to fight the welcome to school fruit basket, KWIM.

I reached my limit this year and pulled DS1 out to homeschool.

A few things sent me over the edge (and we were already homeschooling DS2) but for the fourth year in a row, DS1's placement was based on allergies, not academics.  Forget that he is a very bright kid, let's just stick him in the class with the one teacher willing to handle food allergies regardless of his academic needs.  And their criteria for the "allergy teacher" goes along the lines of "I once knew a kid who had allergies" but no understanding of how to handle allergic kids in the class in regards to lesson plans, minimal food, etc. 

Open House the teacher mentioned briefly about food allergies but brought up how other parents opted to bring in Krispy Kreme donuts to include all of the kids.  Ummm, that is all fine and dandy but seriously that is a crappy answer when the child in question is allergic to wheat, rye, barley and egg (DS1 is the only child with food allergies in his grade level).  Granted, I never expected DS1 to be included in safe way in regards to birthday celebrations but to imply that Krispy Kreme donuts are safe for him and make it seem like this is the only way to include allergy kids is going to bring about a whole nother level of resentment - especially when parents see that DS1 is not eating them, kwim?  (IMMV - the school refused to drop the birthday treat issue and there is really no way that DS1 could be included safely, I keep it a life lesson situation where desserts are going to be rarely safe outside of the house and you need to bring your own).

I do think encouraging self advocacy is important. In fact, it was written into DS' 504 in elementary school.

A young child can't fight fests (and I don't think that's what TT was saying). But a 504 can help make class accessible for him. And it may put a rein on some of this. It can also ensure that there is a plan for subs and field trips.

If you decide to go this route and need help, just ask.

But wow--that is awful. Donuts the first day. Amazing.

Not to mention she's loose lips on other kids' medical information. How is the academic quality of this school, I mean how do you feel about the strength of the curriculum as a parent? I only ask before I make a rash suggestion like lane changing. On the bright side at least someone from the school called. A 504 might not strengthen the curriculum but at least it could have accommodations such as giving him access to a cell phone so he could call you at any time, give him the ability to self-advocate. For your DS at his age I wonder if the full autonomy accommodations would be the way to go. Give him the ability to question, take control, advocate for himself.

 

Oh, I'm so sorry.


I'd definitely write a note to the staff about this.  They need to understand how excluding some of the kids in the class is NOT a cool way to establish a positive learning environment.  Children with diabetes or food allergies didn't exactly get the same "welcome" as their classmates, now, did they?  In fact, they got quite a different message.

switched the boy to public this year. Day one. The nurse called that Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts were served. Son did not get. I did raise my voice -- THE FIRST DAY    She tells me my kid won't be alone -- there are three other PA kids in the class. Ok I hate the teachers already.  With Four PA kids in the class ---- what teacher thinks this is a good way to welcome the new students ?  And why oh why the sugar sh** ?  They really are drugging our kids with sugar, aren't they?   For a kid unhappy about leaving his private school (fully capable of doing the same thing -- but did not encounter this first day ) this is a sh***y start.


EF.