Who do you tell about your food allergies?

[jschwab]

I have told a very few friends about this new allergy and people have mostly lacked sympathy. Who do you choose to tell about your food allergies? How do you make that call? I've had to explain to a few people why I suddenly could not meet certain social obligations because I was dealing with this, but I regret blabbing now. Just curious about other people's experiences.

[CMdeux]

Need to know basis-- and VERY matter-of-factly. 

"I'm sorry, I won't be able to go crabbing with you because I have a shellfish allergy.  Can we meet another time?"

[rebekahc]

We do the same as CM.  I tell people who need to know and only when they need to know - not looking for sympathy, just keeping myself (and/or my kids) safe.

[Ra3chel]

Ditto.

[Macabre]

It depends. Everyone in our church knows. 98% of the time there is food when DS and I go to church. I need then to know not to bring peanuts.

But day to day people that we meet at school? On a need to know basis.

[jschwab]

This has mostly been in the context of "Oh. we were supposed to meet for lunch but I actually just went to the hospital and I don't want to even be near restaurant food right now, even if I plan on only having a drink", that kind of thing. Or cancelling dinner plans with friends. For someone with food allergies, I actually do a lot of socializing over food, so it's already come up a bunch of times backing out of commitments or explaining why hanging out doesn't work for me. At first, I figured being matter of fact would be fine but this is my third food allergen and, I don't know, I feel more protective about it this time. I never cared about talking about it if it came up before, but this time and with a job search on the horizon, I am feeling like I need to be much more discreet. It seems more high-stakes, too, being a nut allergy - more of a weakness. Maybe I'm just getting paranoid.

[CMdeux]

Ahhh.


Well, in that case, recall that this is no different than if you were diabetic, or had RA or something like that.  Yes, I suppose it IS a weakness-- but at the same time, if they have a need to know, they have a need to know.

You can't really control what they think about the information you're giving, though... so if they wind up thinking that you're um-- er--

a candy-***, I guess, for lack of a better term here--

are they REALLY people that you want in your life? 

I realize that is sometimes a very painful calculus to engage in, but it does actually make things easier in the long run.  A workplace which is hostile toward FA is one that either needs to be educated (via HR about how FA is, in point of fact, a disability vis a vis ADAA), or avoided.

[jschwab]

I use that word all the time with my kids, CMDeux LOL. I would hope people would not think that of me, but you never know. More of a liability, you know, or an expensive person to keep on the insurance or they maybe think I was just a little loony to think I had all these allergies that most people normally associate with kids? It just is what it is, I guess. I can't really control that.