What is risky and what is not

[Macabre]

I will add that things also change over time. With shellfish, I had horrible airborne reactions--at work when someone nuked shrimp for lunch or whike eating out. One time airborne shrimp exposure resulted in A GI reaction, but most of the time it resulted in spaciness/lightheadedness. This was 2095-2012ish.

I don't have the same problem with airborne shellfish now. Or at least haven't for a couple of years.

At one point airborne exposure to sesame was not a problem at all, but now it is. I've had several airborne reactions. One was in Panera going through the line (I hadn't touched anything). Their allergy practices were fine for my meal (soup). And they even put new gloves on before grabbing my utensils. But being near the bread with sesame was enough to do it to me. I had to leave.

So thresholds can change over time.

[Macabre]

I'm posting a link here. Hurra please read. It's just heartbreaking. He didn't knowingly ingest. 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2014/11/28/college-student-dies-after-severe-allergic-reaction-to-peanut-butter/

[Hurra]

I appreciate everyone's comments. I will not be testing theories by planting peanuts around the house etc.

Just to clarify the facts. My mother had stored peanuts in the dishwasher to feed the birds through a window. My mother is old school and washes dishes by hand. So 2 weeks prior our visit, she moved the peanuts to an attached garage. Finally when we visit, during the visit for some reason my mother opened the dishwasher and my wife had an apparent reaction. I'm pretty sure my wife knew there had been peanuts stored in there as my mother would have mentioned it. My mother felt really bad and my wife made sure my mother felt bad. How could my mother have predicted that??

I am not questioning if she has an allergy or not. Obviously, her doctor must think she does to have given her an Rx for Epipens. However, to claim she had an allergic reaction when that dishwasher door was opened where peanuts were stored up to 2 weeks prior, but secretly be eating a Twix bar that states "May contain peanuts" seems like a contradiction to me.

This is an issue for me because my wife has some major issues with pretty much all my family and friends and I can't figure out what any of them have done to offend her. Yea they are not perfect, but they don't deserve the animosity she has for them. I don't want to get into this here, as that is a thread for another forum.

[guess]

That is a rough spot to be in.  I'll let someone else field the dishwasher question although I'll hint it's not WYSIWYG as it appears.

How did you (together) handle life with allergies for the first ten years you were married and prior dating?  There must have been some point where the communication flowed differently.

[guess]

To offer the other side of the coin, in closing, has your mother considered giving the birds sunflower seeds?  I'm just saying I don't think the birds care therefore the human family member could concentrate on self-management if the peanuts were substituted all around as a good will gesture to regain trust, AND provide a control to measure in a less arbitrary manner.  You wouldn't have to dumpster dive for wrappers. Of course you would want to discuss creating a comfort zone together then see if you can't move forward.

[lakeswimr]

When people eat peanuts they usually touch all sorts of things with hands that have peanut protein on them.  If someone who is allergic to peanuts goes into that house and touches some of those same things like faucet handles, light switches, door knobs, the backs of chairs, table tops, etc and then touches their eyes, nose, or mouth, they can ingest enough protein to cause a reaction, and in some people, even anaphylaxis. 

You say the peanuts were in a bag in a draw and then moved to the garage.  Was the whole house scrubbed down?  Probably not.  If people in that house usually eat peanuts and if they don't wash their hands immediately afterward, then they are almost certainly getting peanut protein around the house.  Some peanut allergic people will react in that type of situation.  My child has had multiple reactions including very serious ones from that type of exposure. 

I remember your earlier post and I remember the discussion about chocolate.  The chocolate could be a few things.  It could be she is eating an allergy-friendly brand.  It could be she is just missing chocolate and taking a huge risk to eat it.  It could be she has a higher threshold and can eat foods like chocolate that have some xcontam.  It could she got very lucky and didn't get enough xcontam to react.  It could be the chocolate she got is actually OK for her (Hershey's for example is not a risk for peanut allergy, I believe.  Don't go by me but I think that's right.)

What type of chocolate did she eat? 

What treatment did she get for the breathing trouble?

[lakeswimr]

I'm not going to test theories that could ultimately threaten her life. I am just trying to get more information and learn about how this allergy can actually affect those who have it before confronting her again.

I do think she is allergic to peanuts,  she would not have been given epipens if she didn't. But the severity is what I am questioning,  and what reactions are possible or not likely.

There is no way to know the severity!  Reactions can change from one exposure to the next.  They are largely dose dependent so if a person ingests a greater amount they should have a stronger reaction than to a smaller amount.  However, with time, as a person avoids an allergen, the allergy often becomes much stronger and a person can react to far smaller amounts.  I would not mess around with a peanut allergy.  You need to be her protector.  She will get enough other people doubting her.  You will have to stand up to those people for her. 

[lakeswimr]

Peanuts were not being hidden. We planned to visit family who kept peanuts in a drawer and removed them days in advance of us being there given her allergy. But apparently leftover peanut protein in the air of the drawer affected my wife days later. That just seems highly unlikely to me especially that she secretly eats chocolate bars that may contain peanuts.

An airborne reaction to that type of peanut is very unlikely.  A contact ingestion reaction is a lot more likely.  So what?  Did she have wheezing and difficulty breathing?  What did you do to help her or what did she do to help herself? 

[lakeswimr]

Opps, I realize I'm accidentally bumping up an old thread.  Sorry!  I thought Hurra had come back to question his wife's allergy again.

And one last thing.  I believe Twix used to be peanut safe and then started putting a warning on the label.  Some people sometimes ignore warning labels in such situations.  I don't think they should ignore them but it is understandable that some feel that since they have eaten the food fine for years they can continue to do so.

[Hurra]

Well, to provide an update seeing how this was bumped, I called her out on all her secret eatings of foods that she's allergic to. Long story short we are now separated. Much deeper issues exist with her but I can certainly say she was pulling the wool over everyone's eyes and manipulating me and causing myself and others undue grief. I can't say for certain if these allergies exist at a certain level; she didn't explain and I didn't care. But she had no explanation for any of it which is a sign of a guilty person.

Anyway, life is much better now.