"I place all decisions in her hands" WaPo Opinion

[Macabre]

http://washingtonpost.com/opinions/sterilizing-classrooms-wont-help-allergic-children/2013/09/12/0ca77da6-172c-11e3-be6e-dc6ae8a5b3a8_story.html

In the Opinion section of the Washington Post:

Sterilizing the classroom doesn't help allergic children
By Linda Hooper-Bui,  Published: SEPTEMBER 12, 7:42 PM ET

[Macabre]

She's talking about her 6 year old daughter.

The rest of the quote:  "I place all decisions in her hands and allow her to take charge of her health and well-being."

I'm wondering if she lets her drive, too.

[aggiedog]

Ack.  I agree with one of the comments that this is for effect, like the vaccine deniers.

For some reason  I can't register to comment, but I'd like to say that if her 6yo is so mature, what's she doing in school?  She should just boot her to the curb and let her live her life. 

[Macabre]

This is not a direct response, but I think it deals with the issue quite well.

"Adult in training".

http://www.allergydiaries.com/2013/09/adult-in-training-why-allergic-kids.html?m=0

[CMdeux]

Mac, I like that VERY much.

I also think that we personally have several instances in which we have had quite sobering reminders, personally, that the burden that DD's allergies impose on her in this regard is a staggering one-- even for an adult.  I try not to think too terribly hard about that fact, but the reality is that she will be shouldering quite a heavy load... and that even if she is TRULY "perfect" in human terms, it won't always be enough.  She will still have to rely upon the goodwill and understanding of others around her for minimal safety.

What I see people actually suggesting, with statements which imply that we are helicopter parents, or that she needs to take on management (you know, setting aside the general ignorance momentarily) is that she doesn't really deserve to be a child.

I reject that categorically.  ALL children deserve childhoods.  ALL of them.


Placing all of the adult-level decision-making into a young special-needs child's hands and walking away... is... well, to be blunt, I think it is certainly edging toward neglect.

[Linden]

Placing all of the adult-level decision-making into a young special-needs child's hands and walking away... is... well, to be blunt, I think it is certainly edging toward neglect.

Yes.  And it is also not a "science-based" or "evidence-based" decision because the evidence from numerous scientific fields is telling us that kids can be risk taking and impulsive. (Some more than others.) As I understand it, this is a neurological thing and results in children taking risks even when they fully understand intellectually that something is dangerous.  It's as if the brakes in their brain don't fully work yet.

In addition, isn't there another body of literature on child-well being that has found the need to tailor services to the needs of the individual child?  Her suggestion that every parent and classroom in America handle their child's allergies the same way she has choosen to handle her child's needs seems to ignore that literature as well.

Please tell me if I am off base here.  Maybe then I won't feel so frustrated with that article.




 

[twinturbo]

It was an editorial decision to provoke. I highly doubt that attorneys at the Department of Justice are looking at this with head-slapping Eureka! epiphanies. It's quite likely the basis of an article like this has roots in fear, fear of disability harassment, retaliation, or disapproval of other parents which manifested into the need to voice it rather than just do it without attention seeking. Whatever the case it's not a blog but an opinion piece therefore someone in the editorial department signed off on it instead of something else.

As an out and proud troll I say, "Well played."

If I really wanted to spend the time I could troll the comment areas talking about all the accommodations we have, watch the crapstorm foment then when the freak out reaches a mouth foaming zenith admit we've always used private school so I pay for their kids to go to school but they don't pay for mine. Or I could write an equally fallacy-filled opinion about Food Channel curriculums and how US students continue to lag worldwide in math, science, reading, then snark that cupcake mommies should bake less, help their kids with homework more, or maybe get a job if the only thing keeping them from midlife crisis breakdown is stuffing all the bakery items they want to eat down other kids throats. I'm sure that kind of PvPkill makes an editor drool with excitement especially with my obviously ethnic surname attached to it. The competition of parental 'styles' seem all the rage these days.

Even with its imperfections for follow through at a local level, I think the federal Dept of Ed's Child Find mandate in identifying eligible students for 504 and IDEA is a system that is actually working for providing FAPE. No kid is required to get the best education but at least one equal to peers. One difference a lot of parents don't seem to understand is the principal of 504 removes barriers (accommodations on allergens) to existing education access whereas IDEA provides additional programs or services for special ed needs as well as removes barriers where necessary. The average person would not realize that a barrier removal is not an additional service or program hence the incorrect notion that something like a peanut ban is "special" right (for example) that contradicts another's perceived right.

I guess what I'm saying is what was the intent of the editor not necessarily the author or the respondents. Trolling. But also as a general rule I think ALL 'food allergy parents' need to realize that removal of extraneous food in a curriculum does not hinge on us alone. The more we take sole responsibility for it the more people are going to continue to hold us solely responsible for it. My ok'ing food in a curriculum does not automatically make it ok for every kid. The emotions having the treats, 'fun' lessons with candy, food rewards, those are all really deep. Any emotion we have is what the food does (causes anaphylaxis) not about the food itself in all cases... whereas for others it's about the food itself at least the consumption portion for the most part. And I think this is what The Lunch Tray confronts handily, the emotional attachment to children's consumption of treats at school initiated by a multitude of adults.

[CMdeux]

Well-stated. 

[lakeswimr]

I think if she had to rush her child off to the ER for a contact ingestion reaction at school her opinion might change quite quickly.  It is so easy to decide no one needs accommodations one's child doesn't when one's child doesn't have a particular need.  Getting lucked by an animal and having ana isn't the same as touching one's hand to your mouth, or putting a pencil to your lips and having ana.  If her child only gets hives and swelling from contact at school no wonder she doesn't think it is all that important to have hand washing.  Additionally, people are not ana to some of the things she listed so I wonder how her child got diagnosed.  Maybe some are false positives so that lends to her thinking 'my child doesn't react to x, y, z exposure so no one does.' 

[lakeswimr]

I"m wondering if this is part of the cause of my recent troubles with some people who seem to think DS doesn't need his needed accommodations.  Hmmmmm.

[CMdeux]

I don't know, Lakeswimr, but we've noted a distinct cultural "pushback" effect in the last 18-24 months.  People have become very callous and kind of mean about it.

It's even more shocking in its way than the devoted ignorance that seems to have exemplified the earliest part of the last decade.    These are people who KNOW that food allergies can kill-- and they still think that a 5yo ought to "take personal responsibility" for themselves at school.    Or that joking about exposing a terrified peanut allergic teen is a perfectly acceptable way of opening conversation prior to a transatlantic flight with one's seatmate.   If it were anything BUT food, those people could be arrested for that sort of thing-- because it is CLEARLY rising to the level of overt harrassment and torture in some cases.

Honestly?  I put part of the blame on the trendiness of "special food" as status symbol.  While celiac is, no doubt, grossly underdiagnosed... and certainly there are a large number of people who have some sort of food intolerance...

I just wish that the "lifestyle" embracers there would shut the hell up already-- because they are wearing people out with that nonsense.   

[ajasfolks2]

Same sh**, new day.

Some of the comments were sometimes even more horrifying than the article.

Heck, let's just go back to the days of child labor on the farms and many limb amputations and deaths so that those kids can "learn to find their way" in the real world.

[lakeswimr]

I really don't think comment sections are a great indication of general popular opinion because of internet trolls.  I am not reading those comments.