FAAN recommendations for Valentines Day School Parties <roll eyes>

[maeve]

Really? So what do YOU do with a candy cane? 

Well it could make a very minty suppository.

[Mfamom]

But haven't you heard?  Teachers have no control over the roommom's - it is entirely up to two randomly picked (achoo bs) "ladies" to be in charge.   And really, if it is a financial hardship to you to pay your part for the class party AND provide safe treats, then maybe your child should sit out.  And then there is the whole well we know your child has allergies but they are so good about them, they don't mind sitting out.

what I did like about our elem. school is that the room mom did not have carte blanche to do whatever she wanted.  The parties schoolwide had to be similar.  There were generally 3 classes for each grade.  the day of the room mom/teacher meeting, they told the moms EXACTLY what to do.  This kept things sane and kept people from one upping each other which is why the rule was put in place. 

[Mfamom]

lol Arkadia, glad I blazed an image in your mind.  It was actually Peanut brittle at Family card night. 
Maybe brownies with nuts on top.  Fuzzy now, but I know it was something outwardly nutty. 

Hell yeah, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  Liberating.

[CMdeux]

I have a grinchy smile a MILE wide every time I remember that, Mfamom.  I think it was nut-topped brownies.

[Arkadia]

No quoting:  oh f***. email from room mom telling us "the snack" provided by school organization for v-day is ICECREAM. Yeah, in a room with milk allergies and the question is do we change the drink from something citrusy to something more compatable with icecream.  Yeah...

um. sure. wouldn't want someone vomitting ice cream all over the milk allergic children. 

I've got an idea?  How about an extra bag of v-day yo yos and party rings, and one more game and just nix the food?

should I even reply feeling as snarky as I am?

[YouKnowWho]

Ask which one is going to pony up for the epi-pen and which one will pay for the counseling for the emotional traumatization of the child

Yeah, I am way beyond snarky today.

[Janelle205]

You know, I got out of the preschool room before anything 'really' bad started happening with my last reaction...but still, those kids were worried, and they were scared.

Why would anyone want to chance having to have their child see that?

I can still remember the kids looking at me with really big eyes while I was turning red, coughing, and trying to breathe.  "Miss Janelle, you need to go to the doctor." Miss Janelle, you need to get some of that cough medicine." "Miss Janelle, you need to take a deep breath.  You don't look good."  "Miss Janelle, are you sick?"  They were scared, and that was before it even got really bad.



My sister passed away when she was in preschool.  She died at home, not at school.  Even at that age, her death had such a profound effect on one of her classmates that the same girl (she was on my hs softball team with me, 2 years behind in school) regularly visited her grave site through high school, and wrote letters that she left there.  It had that much of an effect on her.  I cannot even imagine how watching one of their classmates and friends die would affect an elementary student.

[Arkadia]

 i shouldnt send emails when im on my stairmachine.....

[CMdeux]

OH my.  With a teaser like that you at least have to give a few hints, Ark.   

[Arkadia]

I will once im sure shes not going to stalk me online...

[Arkadia]

The patently infantile response I get from people wrt accommodating a child with food allergies to this day stuns me.

No quoting:
This woman is a teacher. I cc'd "reply all" to the other two mothers just to keep things honest, and in an attempt to deflect the claws I sensed lurking beneath the fluffy facade.

I gave myself TWO days to contemplate a response. One line for each day.    i was ever so ginger. Cautious. Eggshells.  in response to a group email notifying us icecream would be served (by an organization that deals out food for such events at the school) and inquiring as to what substitute for the citrus beverage might be a better choice (but ignoring the OBVIOUS that icecream probably isn't a good idea in the presence of not only a milk allergy, but a peanut allergy) Classroom has milk, red dye, and peanut allergies. No mention of the peanut allergy so far.

No quoting at all, this is going to get deleted.

In order of transcription:

"Ok...ice cream will be offered as the snack and a lemon bar to the child who has allergies, should we change the drink from lemonade to something that would go better with ice cream?
Caprisun, Mott's 100% Apple juice, Tropicana
Orange Juice
...I can look and buy a differnt more ice cream friendly juice w/out dye!
let me know your thoughts"


My reply:

"Whatever works water is good too. Inclusion is a wonderful valentine theme.

How are we going to navigate the milk allergy with the messy kindergardeners? "

In 36 pt font she replied to me:

The child with the milk allergy will have an lemon ice bar and a parent will be bringing in Capri Sun's for all of the children as they do not have any dyes or added coloring. See you on Tuesday

end no quote.



The font says it all. I better get the hell out of her way.  Or....I could just ask about the peanut allergy next and ask how to turn off the accessibility function on my laptop....sending it to the other two mothers involved for full disclosure. Egads. Maybe the teacher too, but not expecting any sympathy there.

[maeve]

People can be so obtuse.  Been there done that with ice cream and gummi bears in a kindergarten class.  Ice cream had egg and was cross-contaminated with nuts and the gummi bears were Black Forest, which have peanut oil.  The best thing about the whole situation:  The room mom who planned the food had children with the same allergies as my DD (egg, peanut) and is a nurse.  So even people who are "managing" food allergies daily don't get it and how even if my DD had her own ice cream and gummis that ice cream smeared all over the tables by 5 and 6 year olds would be dangerous for a contact-reactive child.

Unfortunately, that agressive, party-planning mom you're dealing with may never get it. 

[CMdeux]

Yeah, but this is the teacher...


I mean, WTF.... 

[Arkadia]

Yeah, but this is the teacher...


I mean, WTF....

shes just a mom who happens to be a teacher. not *the* teacher.  elementary i think different school district.

do you think the milk allergy is her child?  trying to figure out in a room with multiple allergies what her qualification to be planning the party is?

recently, i heard the peanut allergic child switched their sticker on treat day and got a treat they werent supposed to get. ( stickers indicate treat or no treat ). Child apparently sobbed when they took it away.  (they ate some). i could buy a few packs of squinkies to give the allergic kids....

[maeve]

Ark, I think you're sweet for trying to make it up to the FA kids with squinkies.  My experience is that often the room moms/party planning moms do not have experience with food allergies.  Also, unfortunately from prior experience once you as an FA mom are room mom and push for inclusion (by perhaps not serving food in a class with two kids with MFA) that you will never again be selected to be room mom.