Teacher sent home candy w/PA 5th grader (update - food free room now!)

[Stinky10]

Dear Teacher,

I'm about to send an email to the nurse as we haven't yet gotten the final 504 paperwork back.   In that mail I also address the candy that you gave K today.    I wanted to address that with you directly as well.   I know that you had the best of intentions and I appreciate that you made an extra effort to get a label for K to read and sent it home and that you read it as well.     Unfortunately that's not a standard that will work for K– or really any child with a life threatening food allergy.   I want to help you understand WHY that is not an acceptable level of safety.

K's allergist has been very clear with us that he should not eat anything that is made in a shared facility as peanuts and certainly not anything made on the same lines as peanuts.   There have been studies showing that 12-25% of these foods are cross contaminated.  In the US manufacturers are NOT mandated to label for shared lines or facilities.   There is no standard.   Getting the manufacturers to share this information is best done by phone and it's not always easy.   If you haven't had to wade through this, let me tell you it can be very challenging.  For instance, take SunMaid raisins.  You would have no idea that raisins in certain packaging are NOT safe.    But it's true.   The raisins in the small boxes and the ones with the zip lock tops are run on the same lines as candy that includes nuts.    Orange juice is another head scratcher.   Some brands have added "plant sterols" and "oils" to the juice to make it "heart healthy".   Those ingredients can be derived from peanuts!   A fruit platter can be cut with a contaminated knife.   I could go on and on. 

The candy you gave him was made in China.  I do not speak or read Chinese and am not able to verify that the candy was not made in facility that also processes peanuts.  The label lists "edible spice" – I do not know what that is?   China's labeling laws are unknown to me and because of that as a rule we do not eat candy made in China or Mexico – with some exceptions that I've learned over time.   It's a really complicated thing to know the manufacturers, who labels for what, what is made where and who owns what brands and what their standards are.    Then, once you know all that....it changes.  The formula changes, or the manufacturer adds a peanut variety of X food and all of a sudden, something that was "safe" before is not "safe" now.   There is nothing to indicate any peanuts on the candy that you sent home and it may well be safe, but I have no way of knowing and it's not worth the risk.

Again – I know you had the best intentions but it's very dangerous for a child with a life threatening allergy to be sent home with a food item like that.   We've worked very hard with K and luckily he's a pretty smart and wise child but we know that children can be impulsive and it's just a very big risk.

So -   -  what can we use besides candy/food to reward the kids?   I'd be happy to contribute $$$ to an alternative.   

If you have ANY questions....please ask.  Bottom line is that we check EVERYTHING that K eats.   We are teaching him to do this for himself and he's done a good job and I see this as learning experience for all of us.  


And – on another note K is very happy there and is enjoying your class very much.   We are so happy that's he's in this program now. 

[Stinky10]

Dear Mother,

Thank you for the information and letting me know so promptly.. I most definitely do not want to exclude him nor put him in a compromising position. I appreciate the additional education. so much i'm learning. I appreciate your offer and i'd like to take you up on it. If you can help me purchase some things that would be okay for everyone (my criteria as a teacher, quantity (aka inexpensive) and something 10 - 11 year olds would enjoy) - so I can be educated on what would be appropriate AND/OR the other option I'm thinking is to provide me an alternative treat for K that i can provide him if/when i provide the other kids treats. i'm thinking the 2nd option might be the most helpful as one of the children brought in homemade cookies today along with two freshly grown garden tomatoes for k and the other allergy student and I was feeling awkward about that one. I think if I have a supply of goodies for K, I will always have something approved and safe for him on hand. I'm wondering if that would be acceptable.  Again, my humblest apologies and my intention is to be 100% inclusive and considerate as well as safe.

[Stinky10]

this is happening real time...

You THINK my son would have told me about the cookies!

deep breath

in .............out

[Stinky10]

Dear Teacher,

Thanks for the quick response.  I greatly appreciate your attitude.  We will work together and it will all work out.   I will ask K to brainstorm on some non-food treats that might be meaningful to the kids.

Regarding the rest, I need to sleep on this, but no I will not provide safe treats for K to keep in class.  It opens the door for habitual exclusion.  Home baked goods should not be allowed in the classroom as they well could have contaminated the entire room, desks, books, etc.  The classroom has to be a safe place for K so that his learning is not affected.   It's part of the protection afforded to him in the 504/ADA law.   Honestly we haven't had anything like this happen since pre-school.  At (previous elementary)  is was just cut and dry.   The teachers would not allow any unexpected unapproved foods into the room ever.   All parties were planned and the foods were approved prior.   Anything that showed up unexpectedly was turned away at the door or returned home with the child.    I appreciate that this is new to you.   I'm thinking that it's either state or district policy that home made goods are not allowed.   Regardless of that,  K's room should be peanut free and home baked goods can not be checked in any way.

But it's late.  We'll tackle it next week.


I totally understand your strength/weakness comment!  100%. (this is in regard to something he mentioned in another email/mosty repetitive so I didn't post)   In that regard, k didn't tell us about the cookies because he doesn't want to make a big deal about it.   But I know that the outcome of exclusion for food allergic kids is low self esteem and risk taking behavior down the road.

[Stinky10]

Dear Mom,

Thank you so much. I will adjust my practices regarding food immediately and fully understand and respect what you're sharing with me about potential feelings of exclusion - a definite reality. Have a great weekend and feel welcome to drop me a line anytime. I have my personal iPad synced up with school e-mail so I'll know you wrote me. k's safety and your trust is something I do not take lightly and for granted.
Respectfully,
Teacher
________________________________________

[hedgehog]

Let me get this straight... Some parent sent in cookies for most of the kids and tomatoes for te allergy kids     Really?  I mean,I love garden tomatoes, but I am not a kid watching others eat cookies. 

At least it sounds like the teacher is trying to do the right thing, and willing to listen you about what that entails.  So that is good.

[CMdeux]

Yeah-- wow.

At least that made the teacher kind of pause and think twice, too.

[Macabre]

Wait, the last one is just a fantasy teacher letter, right?



Okay, well, on the positive side, she is not getting defensive. That is great. And she is exhibiting concern about exclusion.  So while it might have been extremely cool if she didn't have to be told this stuff, it's still pretty cool that she's responded this way.

Stinky, did you have a meeting with his teachers before school to go over the plan?  Did you do that at the prior school?  I'm thinking at that school they were all still reeling from the process and just knew not to mess with you.

[Scout]

last year the other room mom and me implemented a once a month BDAY for all the kids in class with that month......because Oct.. had 9 and it was a nightmare


it is school wide this year, third Thurs of the month...must be pnut and nut free and free of other allergens in class...

Maybe mention this idea to Teacher.....makes things a LITTLE simpler.....not as good as NONE  but a little simpler.

[Stinky10]

yes....a tomato!   I'm kinda pissed he didn't bring it home to me but not for $100 would he eat one.  Maybe for a phone or ipad....? 

Yeah...we did have a meeting and my gut said it went too easily and everyone was too agreeable.   Also the teacher said that has diabetes so he knew all about fa.   

And no the last one is not a fantasy.    There is even another one...

subject line:  apologies

Dear Mom,
I'm sorry to cause you extra work and attention. Thank you for your understanding that I'm doing my best and trusting my intentions are good. I'm also glad we can be so frank and work together. Though I've had food allergy students in the past, what you share is helping me understand deeper realities I've yet to experience.

Your son is an absolute gem and I want nothing more than the best for him so I take all of this to heart. Thanks for putting me at ease but know I'll continue to be extremely concerned as I want to do what is right for your son and all children. And if you haven't figured out, I'm a huge worrier by nature.

All the best to you. Thank you again. I will do my best to relax a bit. Have a great weekend.

Profoundly Respectful and Grateful,
Teacher

[GingerPye]

at least the teacher is willing to work with you.  She wants to learn.  That's half the battle, isn't it!

Cannot believe the tomato ---- good grief.     What parent thinks that another child would want to eat a tomato whilst the rest of the class is eating cookies?!?  That's just insane.

[Macabre]

Oh goodness, now you are just making all of us lust after this teacher.

[Macabre]

This is like that episode of Mad About You where Paul and Jamie had this virtual reality helmet and they each got to use it to "see" a fantasy. Paul used it to flirt with a model. In Jamie's fantasy, all she had was Paul admitting he was wrong about something. 

Even today, DH or I will say, " I was wrong. I was soooooo wrong."

[twinturbo]

Question: How did the parent know to bring two tomatoes and that there should be a cookie alternative in the first place? New school, FERPA, etc.

[Stinky10]

I do have a surreal feeling about it all.... you can't make this stuff up.

and I'm not complaining....I think we are good place with this teacher on all counts but I find it so ironic that he is such and "emotional" type - kind of "gushing and happy/smiling guy" when we as a family are more stoic, sarcastic, cynical teasers.....

I've had to seriously adjust my tone in emails....trying to be so careful not to have "tone".     Which is hard for me...I have tone in my sleep. 

I think it's for the best that he is so different -  he will teach my son a lot  (if son doesn't roll his eyes too much)

Oh....and from my other thread....(first day of school) kids are still being sent into the hall daily.   The whole thing is cracking me up. 

I'm so glad this at least has seemed to be resolved so quickly!   We will set up another meeting at the end of next week to finalize the 504, meet the nurse who was not able to come to our first meeting and hopefully get things set up correctly for the rest of the year.

But wow....that was a wacky Friday night.