Jazz band stopping at 5 guys

[brownie]

So we are getting ready to put together my 7th grade son's 504 for next year.  He is entering the school in the fall and is currently homeschooled. We have a 504 for my older son, so this should not be too difficult because for the most part it will be a copy.  However, one issue has come up.  My soon to be 7th grader is in a small sub-unit of the band, the jazz band.  It is maybe 20-30 kids? and fairly exclusive.  He had to try out to get in and there is only 1 other 6th grader.  They are doing a tour of the elementary schools and stopping for lunch in a plaza with 3 restaurants, 1 of which is 5 guys (open peanuts), and none of which my son can eat at because he is peanut/treenut/bean/shellfish allergic right now. He has recently been able to handle 1 bean so Chipotle may open up as an option for next year and that is one of the three restaurants but kind of besides the point. 

1) he may have to bring his own food and sit in a restaurant to eat

2) not thrilled about him getting on a bus with a dozen middle schoolers who just shelled peanuts all over themselves.  He had his eyes swell shut from playing under a walnut tree and his peanut numbers are 25+ times higher than walnut. (>100 RAST)

This year I will drive him but next year he will be enrolled as a student.  So, I am trying to explain that we need to accommodate for this but not sure how to go about it.  I don't like interfering with everyone else's fun but leaving him out is discrimination.  Then again I cannot PROVE being on the bus would be risky until it goes awry. So far I just have that driving him myself and leaving him out are not reasonable solutions and we will have to work to find a solution.  Any thoughts on wording?

Brownie

[ajasfolks2]

Come up with solutions that are safest and put them in writing to school as way to fix this.  Now.

You don't want them pulling their own solutions out of their behinds.

Be kind but firm.

Don't give them "I would like you to do"  . . . instead give them "you should do" for safest and most inclusive.  Do not offer to BAIL THEM OUT.

They need to pony up and GET THIS.  You'll -- obviously -- have to help them.

Make sense?

[brownie]

Yes - usually I prefer to come up with a solution.  But in this case I don't want to make it sound like I'm making them do it my way and only my way.  I would simply like my kid to NOT be around a bunch of kids who've just been shelling peanuts.  I would love for him to be able to eat, but we're restrictive...right now that would mean McD or BK are the only options as far as "quick serve restaurants" in the area because he has so many allergies.  I thought perhaps they could come up with an option they could live with rather than me bullying them. I hate this part of food allergies almost as much as the allergies themselves.     

Also, because really they could just decide he doesn't make the tryout next year.  So I really need a more general statement about eating away from school? And that would potentially be helpful in other situations too, though my 8th grader has not had this issue in 2 years of school.

[Macabre]

We have found band directors at the middle and high school levels to be quite accommodating. I suggest you meet with the director asap and talk about your concerns. We actually had a meeting with all DS' teachers together before school started every year.

Tell him/her that this will put your son at risk and let him/her know that a different location is needed to keep him safe.

They did that kind of stuff for my DS.

And they should do this for every kid, but i'll say that I bet your son has already made a good impression if he's made jazz band. I bet they will want to make sure he has a good band experience.

[Macabre]

Other places where DS has been accommodated by band directors:

--stadium where peanuts are shelled
--not having to play in the pep band when the high school hockey team plays in the professional hockey arena downtown in the state playoffs
--restaurants on trips
--rooming situations for all district

And then there are theatre trips and speech trips--same kinds of things.

My experience of these arts teachers is that they are really in it for the kids. I bet they'll be flexible.

[daisy madness]

I agree that you need to clearly tell them what places are safe for your child.  Good for you for not setting a precedent by driving him.  If you do it once, you'll be expected to do it the next time.  What is your gut feeling about how this will be handled by the school?  Are they typically easy to work with?

[brownie]

They have been OK but we haven't really addressed any issues the past 2 years.  They've made some errors but I haven't made a fuss.  They would prefer I not do a 504 but they didn't push too hard.  I ended up requesting what I requested for my highschooler: a more general statement saying they will make field trips and extracurriculars accessible to my son which might include him having permission to bring his food, getting lists of restaurants in advance, and meeting with staff if it's an overnight trip.