Peanut-free table is not working (Middle School)

[notnutty]

Need some quick advice...

DS is in 5th grade.  The peanut-free lunch table was working great UNTIL the other students decided to quit sitting with my DS.  He has been sitting alone for about 2 weeks, with the exception of a few days.

I am stressed and short on time.  I'm not sure what to do.  I sent an email to the school 2 weeks ago.  I got a response saying they were working on it (thinking about it), but have not offered any solutions.

Any ideas?  At what point do you give up with peanut-free table concept?

[socks on a rooster]

Would you/he feel comfortable sitting at a regular table with him sitting at the end with a responsible friend on the other side? I should think this would be doable in 5th grade. My daughter did this being off the charts milk allergic starting in 1st grade. (Otherwise she would have been sitting alone). Our school chose to make us get a Dr's note which we did to accomplish this. You can have all of these seating arrangements written into your 504 along with who is responsible for cleaning the table, and requiring good supervision.

[CMdeux]

notnutty, is there any way to get more info on the "why" of the sudden shift?

I think that I'd want that info before trying socks' solution-- because if there is some underlying social thing happening, the adults here are going to want to know about it beforehand.

  for him-- it's so hard at this age to be isolated like that.

[my3guys]

My ds just moved off the peanut free table a few weeks ago.  He's not contact or inhalation reactive. The teacher asked him to write down whom he wanted to sit near, and put him at the end of a table.  So far, so good.   Sorry your ds has been alone. You don't need this right now.  Oops, forgot to add, he's in fourth grade.

[Carefulmom]

Dd stopped having a peanut free table when she started middle school.  By then her friends knew not to bring peanuts and she ate lunch with her friends.  The school was concerned about the social stigma (which did not happen in elementary school), so we decided to give it a try and she was fine.

[notnutty]

I think I am going to see if we can move him off the peanut-free table.  His teacher (whom I really don't have fond feelings for at this point for unrelated things) said that she had a talk with DS and told him he needed to be better about asking other kids to sit with him.  It annoyed me that instead of working through this with his 504 team, she approached him and told him he needed to advocate better for himself.

I am annoyed because no other student needs to "speak up and let others know he wants them to sit with him".  I am just tired of the isolation and the nonsense.  He has been good in other situations moving away from peanut products or letting other kids know now to eat peanuts around him.  I just feel like I've had enough of the isolation.

I'll let you all know how it goes on Monday when let the school know.  Thanks for the input!

[Carefulmom]

I agree with you, notnutty.  I think the teacher was out of line by talking to your ds about this instead of running it by you first to see if you felt that was appropriate.  If a teacher had done that to my dd, I would not be happy about it.

[ajasfolks2]

Bumping this to remind me to get into this conversation tonite.

[Macabre]

  so it was this year and ds is in 8th. But it wasn't like the of table in elem school. There were two tables his class could sit at and one was for kids eating pn. And thank goodness both tables were full.

I hope you can get a change this week that will work out for him.

[MamaMia]

I think I am going to see if we can move him off the peanut-free table.  His teacher (whom I really don't have fond feelings for at this point for unrelated things) said that she had a talk with DS and told him he needed to be better about asking other kids to sit with him.  It annoyed me that instead of working through this with his 504 team, she approached him and told him he needed to advocate better for himself.

I am annoyed because no other student needs to "speak up and let others know he wants them to sit with him".  I am just tired of the isolation and the nonsense.  He has been good in other situations moving away from peanut products or letting other kids know now to eat peanuts around him.  I just feel like I've had enough of the isolation.

I'll let you all know how it goes on Monday when let the school know.  Thanks for the input!

Ugh. "Hi I'm autistic, will you be my friend?"  Sounds just as ridiculous and to request that your son divulge his medical disability is equally rediculous. That teacher, while I assume had good intentions (or laziness), should not have approached your son but rather YOU as the parent.

[Mfamom]

Notnutty, how is this going?
our pf table worked well in elem. school but when ds went to ms, we stopped having him sit at pf table.  Most of the kids get hot lunch (including my ds) and he just sits with his friends.  if someone happens to have pbj, he finds somewhere else to sit.  its gone very well in ms.  ds is in 8th grade.

I agree that it was not the right thing for teacher to approach the situation the way she did.