Schools need bigger furnitire--so that they can accommodate obese students

[Arkadia]

so it leads me to wonder what type of triangulation there is between food allergies/eating disorders/parenting style.

[CMdeux]

Oh, I see.

Yes, I do think that "disordered" eating is a result of using food (or control of it) as a surrogate for something else.  Definitely.

It may be poor parenting.  It was in one of the two instances that I witnessed at close enough range to have a lot of the backstory on, and certainly was a factor in my DH's (and his DB's) disordered eating... and, not surprisingly, a factor in my MIL's disordered food = love eating, too. 

But in the other instance, it was probably what the outside world would call EXCEPTIONAL parenting (and loving, religiously grounded, supportive-but-not-overinvolved parenting, to boot)...  the only problem was that the young woman in question was primed by expectations of pious perfection that no real person could live up to all of the time, and she was living her life petrified that they'd "find out" that she wasn't that perfect (that smart, that nice, that faithful, etc. etc.).  The "fat" comments simply gave her another unrealistic expectation to fixate on meeting, and so she did.  Seriously, her parents were SO proud of her... and couldn't understand what on earth went so wrong with her in high school.     She was killing herself and they truly had no idea why.

[kouturekat]

Hon, I'm don't take offense with your jeans, just your denial that you have a preoccupation with size. 

I wouldn't say it's a preoccupation with size, but it IS important!  It should be important.  (Weight, no.  It's kind of an irrelevant number that is merely a gauge.)  Because I know what size I *should* be, and I want to keep it that way.  If we, speaking generally, are going to settle for weight gain as we get older, fine.  I'm just not going to.  It doesn't have to be that way.  Literally, my life may depend on that.

Just like I know what size my daughters should be.  If they're out of the acceptable range given their frame size, they should do something about it now.  They're health depends on it too.

Now if you say I have a preoccupation with fitness and healthy eating, you're right on target.

[kouturekat]

I think many girls who are susceptible to eating disorders probably suffer from low self esteem.  That can cause a myriad of problems. 

[kouturekat]

People with preoccupation with size:   a lot of top models and actresses.

[lakeswimr]

I think many girls who are susceptible to eating disorders probably suffer from low self esteem.  That can cause a myriad of problems.

I think many girls suffer from low self esteem.  (shrug)

[lakeswimr]

People with preoccupation with size:   a lot of top models and actresses.

Among people I know I'd put it at about well over 90% of women who have a preoccupation with size to at least some degree-many to a very high degree.

[kouturekat]

People with preoccupation with size:   a lot of top models and actresses.

Among people I know I'd put it at about well over 90% of women who have a preoccupation with size to at least some degree-many to a very high degree.

Part of the media onslaught of super skinny images, I'm sure.

[Carefulmom]

The media really portrays women so inaccurately.  I am so sick of looking at anorexic women who get breast implants.  I constantly tell dd that these women have had surgery.  Breasts are body fat (in teenage girls or young women who have not had children).  If you have no fat on your body and you have a large amount of fat in your breasts, it usually isn`t real.  I think a lot of people see these models and don`t realize all they have had done.  Every time I see someone on TV or in a movie who has had their lips done or their back teeth pulled to make their face look thinner, I comment on it to dd.  The old and new Rachel McAdams, old and new Jennifer Garner, Faith Hill.  I always tell dd that these people looked so much better before their plastic surgery.  I think that the pressure to be thin is so much more now than when we were kids.

Dd said something to me the other day that really surprised me and I think I know my kid really well.  Some of you may remember that a few years ago dd had very delayed growth.  She was really tiny.  At 13, she was about the size of a ten year old and had no signs of puberty.  She had a zillion tests done and all was normal.  I decided it was due to the milk allergy and a family history on her dad`s side of very late growers.  Her BMI was so low that she almost failed the BMI test in PE, which is usually done to detect the kids with high BMI.  The pediatrician and the pediatric endocrinologist wanted me to put her on Growth Hormone.  I went back and forth over this for a year or so until I absolutely had to decide.  My gut really told me that dd was a very late grower, so she and I decided no Growth Hormone.  She eventually hit puberty and finally got into a size 00 and then a 0 and then recently she fit into a size 1.  This was so exciting for both of us.  She hit 5 feet 2 1/2, so I am glad I did not put her on Growth Hormone.  So she is finally starting to look like a normal kid.  She hated being tiny.  She hated people constantly thinking she is much younger than she is.  She hated shopping for a dress for graduation from middle school and everyone kept asking if she was graduating elementary school.  So finally at 16 1/2 she looks like a slender but not emaciated 15 year old.  She looks good.  So I said to her the other night that she really doesn`t look all that thin any more.  In the context of the above, that was a compliment.  She looked at me, not happy,and said (saracastically) "Well, thanks a lot!"  I was floored.  I said that was a compliment, because it had bothered her so much to look so young and be so tiny.  I could not believe that she took it as a negative comment.  This could not possibly be due to her upbringing, since she saw a nutritionist to increase her calories and the doctors kept telling her to gain weight.  It really just shows what society has done, and how it can make girls (and maybe boys) really sensitive to comments about weight.  And I am guessing she must hear a lot from her friends that they are worried about their weight.

[CMdeux]

We've had similarly surreal moments with DD, Carefulmom.  She, likewise, is extremely slender (now 5'2" and barely topping 93lbs at age 13).  You'd think that being finally into "real" jeans sizes ( 1's-- as opposed to those slim 00's which barely even EXIST...) would have made her happy.  But noooooo.

It's wild.   

I'm probably one of the few people on the planet that has ever naturally worn a size 28F or 28G bra.  We do exist without silicone.  Even so, most of that look is NOT natural, particularly in women who also have no other curves. 

I'm hoping that DD doesn't share that particular set of genes with me, fwiw.    

[Arkadia]

well, for those children who are COMPLETELY filling out a 7/8 at age 5, or for whom 130's in Hanna's barely fit, then here's your dose of reality:  You are in the absolute MINORITY. Most kids my daughter's size will always get eyerolls when asking for their size in a dress and trust me, it's always some 5 foot something doint the finding, who wouldn't understand, that no, a size 10/12 in your teen years doesn't mean you're F. A. T.

Carefulmom, even the PEDIATRICIANS in the group we see are always calculating out their BMI, and failing to believe despite a "normal" BMI,  I don't need to somehow CURB their growth. Yeah, whatever. It's not just the media, it's our healthcare providers too. They get caught up on a female who is 59 lbs at 5 years. Went through the same bs with my older son, and his bmi is "normal" as well. On the higher end, at 23.3, but looking at him, he is very thin. Teachers comment ALL the time on how THIN he is since 8th grade, and he wasn't at ALL fat then, either. Those long limbs and long torso suck up every bit of his 200 pounds (hes lost a bit since school started. probably 8 pounds.)

but my older daugher: i weighed her tonight and took her height. Looks like she put on 2 pounds, but two inches as well. :


according to the bmi calculator:

Code Select Expand

A 5 year and 10 month old (female) child who is 59.0 pounds and 4 feet and 2 inches tall, has a body mass index of 16.6, which is at the 80.2th percentile and is considered to be a healthy weight.

now, what surprised me is that my four year old is the same bmi (she's my "plump" child. a little chesty and with some boo-tay) I was expecting more along the lines of 20's for BMI. :

A 4 year old (female) child
who is 44 pounds
and is 3 feet and 7 inches tall has
a body mass index of 16.8,
which is at the 84th percentile,

and would indicate that your child is at a healthy weight. Keep in mind that it is still possible for a child to have an eating disorder even if they are at a healthy weight though.

[rainbow]

This has some relevance to the discussion:

Savannah Hardin, 9, is seen in this image released by Etowah County Board of Education on February 22, 2012. Two Alabama women were accused of murder on Wednesday for allegedly killing a young girl by forcing her to run for three hours without stopping, authorities said. The running was apparently a punishment for Savannah Hardin, 9, who died on Monday.

http://news.yahoo.com/2-charged-death-ala-girl-forced-run-082216169.html

[Arkadia]

This has some relevance to the discussion:

Savannah Hardin, 9, is seen in this image released by Etowah County Board of Education on February 22, 2012. Two Alabama women were accused of murder on Wednesday for allegedly killing a young girl by forcing her to run for three hours without stopping, authorities said. The running was apparently a punishment for Savannah Hardin, 9, who died on Monday.

http://news.yahoo.com/2-charged-death-ala-girl-forced-run-082216169.html

I so believe in the death penatly. I believe in overcrowded, hot filthy womens prisons filled with oversexed amazons.

[Mfamom]

well, we had an issue with the BMI index when ds went for his 10 or 11 year checkup.  He was considered obese on the chart for his age, weight and height.  Meantime, he is very lean and muscular (has always been naturally muscular) and muscle weighs a whole lot more than fat which is apparently what skewed the chart numbers.

It was a horrible thing.  It didn't help that the dr didn't look at him before declaring him obsese.  He was already a lot bigger than his peers (height wise) and he was really self conscious about it for some time  asking me if he is really fat. 

He was the furtherst thing from obese!  Very much in shape, low pulse because he's active. 

right now, he is struggling with everyone asking him how much h bench presses, but he's never lifted weights.  little comments about 'roids etc but he seems to take it in stride.

[Mfamom]

i think it was his 11 year check up .  in his book it says he was 5'7" 137lbs.