Would you provide all of the classroom treats, if that were an option?

[eggallergymom]

My daughter has a 504 plan that says no foods with egg will be allowed into her room. The daily snack is limited to dairy, fruit or veggies. The treats for classroom parties, per the 504, are to be egg-free as well, and chosen from a list I provide. The parent buying those treats then tells the teacher what they're bringing, so I can send in the same thing. (We provide all of the food for DD at school.) That's how it worked last year.
Her 3rd grade teacher has asked if I'd be willing to buy all of the classroom treats for the four parties. At face value, not a bad plan, as it would ensure safe snacks for everyone, and would likely make my DD feel better. But I'm concerned about creating even more friction with the other room moms/parents. Theoretically, my DD's medical status (and the existence of her 504 plan) are supposed to be private. As a practical matter, everybody knows it was my kid who spent 2 days in the hospital two years ago after anaphylaxing in her first grade classroom. While I think most parents have been okay with the district-wide food changes since that happened (no home-baked goods, food-free birthdays) some are still very angry, including a few of the moms in DD's new room. So I'm envisioning the $#!* hitting the fan when they find out the pushy allergy mom is going to supply all the food for the parties.  And will that reach my kid? Is this worth it? What would you all do? Clearly the most important thing is keeping her safe, but she's already been bullied b/c of her allergy, and I don't want that to happen again because of something I did.

ETA--the teacher indicated he'd give me some of the classroom money to defray the cost of snacks. Clearly that won't cover it--parents only kick in $5 apiece to cover supplies for parties. Parents pick up the cost of the snacks. It's not a big deal, except does it send the wrong message? That there's an expectation the parents of the kid with the LTFA should pay for the snacks?

[maeve]

No I would not do it.  Your daughter has a 504 designation for her disability.  Does the school require other disabled students to pay for their accommodations?

[eggallergymom]

Excellent point. The more I think about it, the less I like this idea. I think there's a real potential for social fallout here.

[CMdeux]

We have done this for one-time events, but that is a situation where risks are exponentially higher (a summer workshop, a youth activity that meets annually, etc.) because of a complete lack of routine and the unfamiliar procedures, surroundings, and personnel.

In a regular school setting, NO WAY would I want to do this-- other than for a one-time and high risk thing, like a 5th grade promotion/graduation ceremony (I might offer to do cupcakes for it, or something).

Also just because we can afford to do this (mostly), it certainly doesn't mean that every food allergic family can.   

I'd discuss your ambivalence, even if you decide to go ahead and do this.  Make it clear that this is something that YOU are offering to do as a solution... NOT that this is "the" solution for managing food allergies in a classroom or any other setting.  We never provide food for activities where we flatly don't think there ought to be any food in use to begin with.  (e.g. as a "treat" or "reward" for participation, etc.)

[ajasfolks2]

The liability for ALL the other childrens' safety would now rest on you?

No way no how for this family.

[eggallergymom]

Another good point.  What is also a little frustrating is that we hashed all of this out during the 504 process in May. All of the food rules are explained in great detail in that plan. That plan isn't a suggestion, it's a blueprint for how all of these things should go. This stuff shouldn't be up for negotiation anymore. I don't doubt the teacher is suggesting this for the right reasons (to keep the snacks safe, to minimize the anxiety for my daughter) but it should be settled, KWIM?

[maeve]

If it was hashed out in the 504 meeting, then point to the 504 and state that you expect no deviations from the plan.

[eggallergymom]

I'd scheduled an early visit to school so my DD could meet her teacher and we could talk about the precautions in the 504. This was last week (school begins next week.) It became apparent quickly that not only hadn't he seen her 504, he didn't know she had one. This happened last year, too--the district didn't share her plan with her teacher until AFTER the snack note had gone home to parents. Several of those snacks were forbidden by the 504, so the note had to be revised, which caused a lot of grumbling. So I tried to avoid that this year by going in early. Fortunately, her teacher this year hadn't yet sent out the class note about snacks, so we talked about that. But the 504 also talks about handwashing, and they only have 1 sink in the room. He has concerns about the efficiency of that process with one sink. Clearly that's not ideal, but if the 504 says that everyone will wash hands after lunch and if they travel into the room for math, then that's what they'll have to do. The logistics of how they accomplish that are up to them.
I think these are growing pains, my kid is the first to get a 504 plan for allergies. But I know she won't be the last, so they need to streamline this process.

ETA: We didn't get our DD's classroom assignment until last week.

[maeve]

I'd scheduled an early visit to school so my DD could meet her teacher and we could talk about the precautions in the 504. This was last week (school begins next week.) It became apparent quickly that not only hadn't he seen her 504, he didn't know she had one. This happened last year, too--the district didn't share her plan with her teacher until AFTER the snack note had gone home to parents. Several of those snacks were forbidden by the 504, so the note had to be revised, which caused a lot of grumbling. So I tried to avoid that this year by going in early. Fortunately, her teacher this year hadn't yet sent out the class note about snacks, so we talked about that. But the 504 also talks about handwashing, and they only have 1 sink in the room. He has concerns about the efficiency of that process with one sink. Clearly that's not ideal, but if the 504 says that everyone will wash hands after lunch and if they travel into the room for math, then that's what they'll have to do. The logistics of how they accomplish that are up to them.
I think these are growing pains, my kid is the first to get a 504 plan for allergies. But I know she won't be the last, so they need to streamline this process.

There was only one sink in DD's class.  I was really only concerned about hand-washing after lunch.  There were bathrooms right across from the cafeteria.  The entire class went to the bathrooms to wash their hands before returning to the class.

[eggallergymom]

Yes, the bathrooms are an option at our school, too. In third grade they do split up the grade into three different levels of math, so depending on where my daughter lands and which class her homeroom teacher ends up taking, she could either be leaving to go to another room right after lunch (that's when they do math) or she could stay with her homeroom teacher, but several new kids could be coming into the room. It was the same scenario last year, and the kids who "traveled" would wash their hands on the way in.

[maeve]

DD had a similar situation in her school and it wasn't a problem.  DD also switched rooms for Spanish, music, art, library, and computer work.  She also worked as a tech assistant in fifth grade and helped out with technology in other classrooms.  She didn't have a problem.

I never really worried about baked goods with egg in her classroom; she'd been around people eating baked goods without issue.  The likelihood of scrambled eggs or hard boiled eggs being brought for snack (which other than parties was the only food eaten in the classroom) were pretty slim; she reacted to unseen egg residue at day care, so she is contact sensitive.  I was definitely more concerned about nuts coming into her classroom. 

Obviously,  your DD has a different reaction/sensitivity history.

[Macabre]

We have always scheduled a meeting with the 504C and the teachers to go through the 504 plan. Even in Middle School. It's worked out very well for us.

That way you have the opportunity to talk about the child with the teacher and you know the teacher understands, on some level, the 504. It's a great opportunity for them to ask questions.

[Scout]

Just had a meeting at school
I am again room mom with another FA parent

we do this every year.......as do all room moms.....we get the money......parents donate more, but yes we end up paying alot...

we did send out a check off list for the last party with Brand specific requests......we got no push back.

we do check with all the FA parents in the class.......the liability thing .......really ?.....cuz we do expect non FA parents to invite our kids to parties and we get bothered by them not wanting the liability......two way street.....

*dd's teachers mom has a Pnut allergy......so she has first hand knowledge........

[eggallergymom]

Thanks for your perspectives, everybody. After giving it quite a bit of thought, I told them I didn't want to provide all of the snacks. I don't think it sets the right precedent (that the parent of the child with the LTFA is responsible for all food) and I know it would create even more friction at school. We all have had different experiences at our schools, but believe me when I say that there is already a considerable amount of grumbling about the recent food policy changes. Me bigfooting the snacks (how it would be interpreted) might create more blowback for my kid. Not what we're looking for. I'm happy to  provide all of the snacks for Brownies again (did that last year, at mostly my own expense) but that's a smaller group, and people I'm comfortable with who are very supportive of DD. The classroom is a different scenario.

I'm already signed up to be one of the room moms--I do that every year, and that gives me a legitimate reason to be at the parties.   The 504 meeting was scheduled for the day before school--clearly not ideal, but I've been bugging them for three weeks and that's what I got. I am going to write up some suggestions for the 504 coordinator to hopefully streamline this process and make things easier on everyone. I think most of this is growing pains as our district enters the 21st century when it comes to food allergies.

[rainbow]

The liability for ALL the other childrens' safety would now rest on you?

No way no how for this family.

This is an excellent point.  I wouldn't do it.  I think they should just go to pre-packaged foods that parents can approve as necessary (in our school, teacher sends note before party saying date of party and treat will be XX.)  Allergy parents can come read label and approve, or provide own snack, and other parents are advised.

I'd have teacher provide room parents with a list of safe treats. Ice Pops or something like that.