need to vent..scouts

[brownie]

Nobody else cares or understands so I need to vent here.  Last night dh got an email telling us the dates for boy scout camp next summer.  It said that only the listed leaders would be permitted to attend due to "logistics".  DH is not permitted to join ds.  Now they are driving 8 hours into the mountains on a bus.  NO WAY am I letting my 12 year old go handle that alone.  He is very mature about his food allergies but is very disorganized overall.  And that is not the point.  If something happens to my boy, I will not have him 8 hrs away without a parent who loves him.  The thing is, all these families are our friends.  Almost all his friends are in the troop...my son is not very social and we homeschool.  Much of the troop homeschools as well and it is at our church.  He is working toward his Eagle and camp is  HUGE help towards doing that.  They get as much done in one week as he can get done all year on his own.  Basically it just sucks and it makes me angry because they know this excludes us.  We weren't supposed to be able to go this year either but dh got an exception because of the allergies.  Besides that it is the highlight of ds's summer to go to camp.

DH immediately responded that ds won't be going but I want to cry thinking that I am going to have to explain this to ds.

Brownie

[yelloww]

Ask for the exemption again. Or book yourself on a nearby vacation fr that week. Sorry to hear about this. That stinks!

[brownie]

The tone of the restriction is different this year.  We'll see but I don't expect an exception to be made.  Last year they just didn't want 1st years' parents going to coddle them but we got an exception for managing food, and they were only 2 hrs away.  But the leader has made it very clear he doesn't like certain scouts and he doesn't like certain parents.  He rules like it's an aristocracy and he knows how to parent my child better than I do.  I hope that I'm wrong and dh will get an email back saying they didn't mean "him" but I think they do.  I think the rule was created specifically for dh, one other special needs dad and a mom they don't want there.  After all, no other parents WANTED to go last year anyhow so it would be a silly rule to create 11 months in advance.
Brownie

[eggallergymom]

That really stinks, Brownie. They should be grateful an adult is willing to spend a week helping out on a camping trip! The fact that they're also excluding the parent of a child with special needs makes me wonder what would happen if you complained to BSA, or at least the local council?

Google tells me that the BSA at least likes to give the appearance of being inclusive (minus their treatment of gays and lesbians, of course); they have a 162-page manual on how troop leaders can include scouts with disabilities:

http://www.scouting.org/filestore/pdf/34059.pdf

[Macabre]

Yikes. Yea, I would cite chapter and verse of the BSA policy back at them in a letter. You will be able to change this. Accept that and work toward it.

[becca]

I had issues with Girl Scouts as well.  While there is policy for inclusion, the fact is, it comes down to the local people and how they conduct themselves.  it can be cliquish, and there can be favortism.  The whole thing ended what I *thought* was a strong and supportive friendship.  "The allergies put me over the edge." she was known to have said to a mutual friend.  She was unkind ot my child over it, IMO.  Very snippy as they were headed off to a camping trip.  A leader should be reassuring to parents, not confrontational or abrupt. 

While you can file complaints and report them to the BSA, the fact is, these are people in the community and your social circles and it has backlash.  Honestly, I was relieved when dd decided she was done with GS. 

Good luck.  I was hoping as I read, that you can again get an exception to go along.  In our camps, there truly were limits on space and the number of people and vehicles that could be at a campsite or in a building(cabin).  It was an issue.  But, I think I could have gone.  My problem was them insisitng I could not send any food for dd.  They wanted to make it all safe for all, but then, I was resented for having specific brands, etc...  Ummm, we could solve it all if she brings a safe stash of a few staples. 

[GingerPye]

brownie    Can you or DH talk with them and ask for an exemption, to have DH go along?  Maybe they aren't thinking of the FAs.