Let's talk about anxiety

[LinksEtc]

CM, thank you for those posts.  I'm not going to get into every detail, but I think you know how deeply some of that resonates with me  .

We don't have anywhere near your sensitivity, but dealing for years with various skeptics who didn't believe in the allergy or that it was dangerous took a toll on me.  I'd like to say that I was as gracious as you in all cases, but I don't think that I can.

Going forward, I'm going to be more mindful of my raw nerves regarding this issue.  I can sometimes be strong-willed and intense if I have a specific goal in mind, but that along with the frustration that had built up from not being believed so many times ... it can come across in a bad way even though it's not my intention.  Now that I'm more aware of it, I'll try to tone it down a bit and try to be more respectful and considerate of how others are viewing the situation.

Regarding new docs, I'm going to try and tone it down with them too.  Otherwise, they sometimes can't "hear" what is really being said and I think it's too easy to get categorized as just another google-mom (which I guess I am, but we are so much more than that here).  If they want to eventually talk on deeper levels, I'd love to, but otherwise I'll just save that stuff for you guys. 
It can be hard to switch docs.  For ex - I was on a hugging basis with my pulmo of several years & she had no problem giving me a significant say in things.  My former allergist understood my struggles with people and he backed me up ... I trusted and respected him ... I wanted to be more aggressive with the challenges, but I understood his perspective also. 

[twinturbo]

re: my technique or strategy(?), I have nothing singular. Through talking to everyone here it doesn't seem to me that I do much different. The only thing I can think of is my tendency to externalize rather than internalize. Personal circumstance makes FA dad a human behavior expert so that's not something *I* bring to the table on my own.

Dunno. Can I raincheck when I understand the question better? Not you, I'm nursing a wound. Hurts like the dickens.

[LinksEtc]

Yes, of course TT ... I hope you feel better soon.   

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"I'm Not Neurotic: My Kid Has a Food Allergy"
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2013/10/02/im-not-neurotic-my-kid-has-a-food-allergy

"What's the big deal?" an aunt asked about their food patrol efforts. "The big deal," she replied, "is that we end up at the hospital" – should eggs or tree nuts wind up on or near their daughter's plate.

When it comes to educating and convincing others about the imperatives that accompany food allergies, "it is constantly an uphill battle," Seymour says.

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"Managing Anxiety Related to Anaphylaxis in Childhood: A Systematic Review"
http://www.hindawi.com/journals/ja/2012/316296/#B25

This paper reviews the relationship between anxiety and anaphylaxis in children and youth, and principles for managing anxiety in the anaphylactic child and his or her parents.

Other children continue to avoid certain foods despite a negative food challenge to those foods [25]. Repeating food challenges is reassuring in some but not all cases [25].

Is there sometimes a bias that assumes the repeat challenge will be negative and is only being done to help with anxiety?

Lala was told she was just being "anxious" ... to keep feeding the food.
Lala's DS-- passing a peanut challenge and REDEVELOPING the allergy

Another example.
The psychosocial impact of FA in children, adolescents, and families

There are false passes.

"False-negative oral food challenge"
http://www.aaaai.org/ask-the-expert/false-negative-oral-food-challenge.aspx

The reason that I'm pointing this out is that I'd really like it if another family did not have to go through the emotional stress that they did.  Yes, in some cases, anxiety may turn out to be the main issue, but in other cases, the allergy is persisting. 

I'm hearing Kermit
"sesame street - it's not easy being green"

Maybe the FAB can modify the song for us:  it's not easy being a FA mom.



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[twinturbo]

Remember that no one is completely free of anxiety, or from emotion in decision making?

The first one should earn me instant BFF status at a 504 meeting. [spoiler][/spoiler]

Anxiety and Depression among School Principals – Warning, Principalship Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

Cited 33 times.

A principal who participated in an exploratory study to ascertain the extent and sources of stress among school principals realized the apparent isolation and lack of support felt by a significant number of school principals. Argues that the high incidence of anxiety and depression among principals is in large measure related to the insistence on educational administration being a technical activity. Concludes with an appeal for a new notion of educational administration and raises a number of issues for further research.

Mental health, job satisfaction, and job stress among general practitioners.

OBJECTIVE--To identify sources of job stress associated with high levels of job dissatisfaction and negative mental wellbeing among general practitioners in England. DESIGN--Multivariate analysis of large database of general practitioners compiled from results of confidential questionnaire survey. Data obtained on independent variables of job stress, demographic factors, and personality. Dependent variables were mental health, job satisfaction, alcohol consumption, and smoking. SETTING--National sample of general practitioners studied by university department of organisational psychology. SUBJECTS--One thousand eight hundred seventeen general practitioners selected at random by 20 family practitioner committees in England. INTERVENTIONS--None. END POINT--Determination of the combination of independent variables that were predictive of mental health and job satisfaction. MEASUREMENTS AND MAIN RESULTS--Women general practitioners both had job satisfaction and showed positive signs of mental wellbeing in contrast with other normative groups. Conversely, male doctors showed significantly higher anxiety scores than the norms, had less job satisfaction, and drank more alcohol than their women counterparts. Multivariate analysis disclosed four job stressors that were predictive of high levels of job dissatisfaction and lack of mental wellbeing; these were demands of the job and patients' expectations, interference with family life, constant interruptions at work and home, and practice administration. CONCLUSIONS--There may be substantial benefit in providing a counselling service for general practitioners and other health care workers who suffer psychological pressure from their work.

Who should measure quality of life, the doctor or the patient?

The extent to which a doctor or health professional can make a valid assessment of a patient's quality of life, anxiety and depression was investigated in a series of cancer patients. Doctors and patients filled out the same forms, viz. the Karnofsky, Spitzer, Linear Analogue Self Assessment Scales and a series of simple scales designed for this study, at the same time. Correlations between the two sets of scores were poor, suggesting that the doctors could not accurately determine what the patients felt. A further study examining the reproducibility of these scales demonstrated considerable variability in results between different doctors. It is concluded that if a reliable and consistent method of measuring quality of life in cancer patients is required, it must come from the patients themselves and not from their doctors and nurses.

[LinksEtc]

You're too funny TT 

I take it you don't actually bring such studies to the 504 meeting  ?  I would love to be a fly in the room if they started suggesting that you were being anxious.  <insert Rocky song>

[LinksEtc]

A few more thoughts ... anxiety can be a real and understandable issue for many parents/patients dealing with illness/disease.  I think in many cases people would be empathetic and kind (ex - mom of a cancer patient), but too often for FA ...

if somebody thinks you are being "anxious", it often seems to come across as an attack on the credibility or character of the (let's say) mom or because they don't want to do things that are necessary to keep the child safe.  It is not necessarily being brought up with the intention of helping the mom or the child.  In fact, it can feel like an eighth grade gossip session about the crazy, overprotective allergy mom.

It gets tricky because FA parents/patients can go overboard with precautions, but I think that is where a trusted allergist can really help in explaining what is necessary.  DH was giving me a hard time at one point about some avoidance stuff, and our allergist could get through to him in a way that I could not.

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ETA this link (a very touching post)

"My Hard Truth"
http://multiplefoodallergyhelp.com/?p=699

"Dealing with Jacob's cancer was less stressful, and easier, than dealing with his food allergies."

Yup. I said that.   Yes, It is a strong statement.

[CMdeux]

Ultimately, though-- that is about "credibility" via a person's credentials/bona fides.

This is where I roll out my professional credentials and turn into

Professor-Mom

(in a discipline that many educators and physicians alike found, well-- scary.)

This doesn't work awesomely well on DH, of course, or on my family, because familiarity breeds contempt, as it were.

But it sure works a treat on relative strangers, even those that nominally have power positions over me.

[LinksEtc]

Ultimately, though-- that is about "credibility" via a person's credentials/bona fides.

This is where I roll out my professional credentials and turn into

Professor-Mom

(in a discipline that many educators and physicians alike found, well-- scary.)

This doesn't work awesomely well on DH, of course, or on my family, because familiarity breeds contempt, as it were.

But it sure works a treat on relative strangers, even those that nominally have power positions over me.

I wish I had that one in my back pocket ... I'm pretty sure that I am at a big disadvantage here (which I think you understand CM).  I would say that I am more of a Susan Boyle of FA (by that - I don't mean a star, but somebody who it is initially easy to think doesn't know anything).  I don't suppose my magna cum laude credentials from many years ago would help

I've learned a lot about power positions lately ... I felt like saying to one individual "pick on somebody your own size".   Repeat as necessary - anger tends to be unhelpful.

[twinturbo]

Don't start none, won't be none.

As long as it was never used as a lame attempt at power play I would never side track a meeting by talking about anxiety as a stand alone item. But I absolutely will disarm and neutralize it on the spot in order to get back to the business of removing barriers, equal access, individual educational support wrt to special ed.

Yes, a couple of those principalship anxiety studies are going in the back of my binder if shenanigans crop up. Only in my inner monologue does the lolcat meme grace the cover.

My view is there's no one way to do this. You pace with the people and obstacles (see signature below), and we're all capable of it with our preferred methods and strengths. And where we need help that's where we support one another. I trust in specific qualities in specific persons. Where do we go for links? See what I'm saying? I have both trust and faith that you can find resources with exquisite precision.

[LinksEtc]

My view is there's no one way to do this. You pace with the people and obstacles (see signature below), and we're all capable of it with our preferred methods and strengths. And where we need help that's where we support one another. I trust in specific qualities in specific persons.

Where do we go for links? See what I'm saying? I have both trust and faith that you can find resources with exquisite precision.

aw-shucks.   

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ok, so ...

CM = The Professor-Mom

Links = The FA Jedi

TT - ?

Other FASers ?

Together we = ?

[CMdeux]

  

I think that TT must be our MMA Flyweight Champ.   

[twinturbo]

<-- troll

[LinksEtc]

well duh, we could have told you this....

[LinksEtc]

"Skeptics add to food allergy burden for parents"
http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2014/02/11/with-one-child-food-allergy-restricting-another-allergy-moms-say-they-face-skepticism/Hi9h2AGwDyCzAB0NsCRX9O/story.html?s_campaign=sm_tw

"Why couldn't Sabrina have had this reaction in front of our non-allergy friends?" asked Layne, of Norwell. "We know they think we're crazy for being so vigilant."

some parents say they face disbelief that their children's allergies exist at all

"It makes it harder because people think we're all misdiagnosed, that we're hypochondriacs," Francoeur said.

I love the title, so true.

[twinturbo]

This may be heretical but I don't blame skeptics directly because they've seen so many people with pseudoallergies... how can they be expected to know when exactly to believe when they've seen so many actual hypochondriacs? I freely admit I walked in the skeptics door to LTFA, I could have held the door open for Joel Stein behind me.