New Warnings in School Cafeteria

[Mfamom]

My ds has a 504 plan, but remember when I tried to set it up, was given a lot of flack, the school was hostile etc.
Well, today's failure perfect example of why a thoughtful 504 plan makes the world go round

DS sent text and told me that today there are signs all over the cafeteria warning about allergens.  I have been given a list of all foods/ingredients etc previously and we've chosen "safe" lunches for him.  Pretty much everything is fine except the topping for yogurt and something else.

So, I tell him to ask the food staff for help/ask them what changed etc.
He texts back that they are not helping him, they are rude and tell him to bring his own food to be safe. 
I tell him to go find the principal or assist. principal.  Neither is available.  I send him to the nurse.  She tells him to put on his big boy pants and go find some packaged food and figure it out.
Of course, this makes my ds feel pretty small and unimportant for sure.
I end up stopping work, going out to get him a lunch. 
Assist principal (who is the one that has helped me with lunch ingredient info in the past) calls tells me that the foodservice company was audited and they were out of compliance for not having allergen warnings, but nothing has changed.
I explain that things HAVE changed as now there are  vague warnings in the lunch room that were not there yesterday and I should have been notified!  He says my ds could have spoken to foodservice    I explain that they were unsympathetic and not helpful.
I also completely throw the nurse under the bus for her attitude which is very typical of how she does things.
The biggest problem is that he did ask for help and was blown off by the foodstaff and the nurse! 
I also took the opportunity to tell him how I was treated in the original 504 meeting that my ds does advocate but no one wants to do anything to help and being proactive and following the 504 would have prevented my ds being upset (and missing math to eat the lunch I brought), would have not interrupted my work day etc.

[Mfamom]

On another note, ds bailed on the last appt. we had for challenge.  I called and rescheduled one for the 29th.  I think he should do it, would make things a lot easier for all of us, especially him.  My dh is not thrilled, but I feel fairly confident that he will pass because of the uknow test and because he has not had any significant rx for a long time.  I know I cannot MAKE him do it, but I really think it will be a good thing.

[Macabre]

Oh yikes. I can't believe they treated him that way. Given the history with the school, I think I would document this.

a food service worker essentially told him that because if his disability he should not have access to the same lunch that his non disabled peers have access to.

His attempts for self advocacy (and to handle things himself--maturely) were not taken seriously. This could out him at risk in the future. Teens especially are at a risk of not speaking up--and I'd he doesn't next time and it's during a reaction, it could have fatal consequences.

Our cafeteria has very good labeling (and also label for vegetarian food). Before school started the cafeteria manager spent more than half an hour with me talking with me about the food, preparation practices, showing me the entire kitchen and telling me what is prepared where.

You should be able to expect the same at your school.



I hope that your DS feels comfortable with an IOFC soon. If he has outgrown, it would make his life--and planning for college--soooo much easier.

[Mfamom]

you know, we went to a sophomore night at school tonight.  our school really pushes parents to let their kids problem solve/advocate for themselves.  the director of guidance must have said it 10 times tonight. 
The problem is that I continually see that is their answer....your ds should have (insert action).  I feel that is great and I'm on board right up to the time that my kid is disregarded/shut down by people of authority in the school.  Not the first time its happened.

As for the comment about bringing his own food, i did address that with the assist. principal and reminded him that comment doesn't fly with a classified student especially.  He is more friendly/helpful than some at school, but still he said that ds will need to do this soon at college etc.   They don't get it that they are preaching to us to let our kids fend for themselves, but in the same point, they are keeping them from successfully doing so.  does that make sense

[CMdeux]

I so feel your pain here.

Drives me NUTS that people seem to think that my DD's decision to not eat anything is "immature" since she SHOULD be able to somehow "make decisions for herself."

Well, um-- she did, it seems to me.     Risk:  my life.  Benefit:  gross-looking food of unknown or questionable safety?  Hmm-- lemme think.

Pound sand, YK?


My daughter is MORE than entitled to make her own decisions about food, and God HELP the person that leans on her for deciding "no, thank you, I'm not comfortable with this." 

Please tell your DS how proud you are of him for the way that he handled himself.  HE showed a great deal more maturity and responsibility than the so-called "adults" in charge of him here.   

[Macabre]

Mfamom affirming attempts at self advocacy is in my ds' 504.

[Mfamom]

yeah, that was in his 504 plan previously, but at the hostile meeting they said they EXPECT their students to problem solve etc; therefore, not necessary to put it in there.

[CMdeux]

Well, I guess they won't mind having it there, then-- since it's school policy anyway.   

[yelloww]

Sometimes I'm surprised you are still at that school MFA. I know the Catholic HS is big $$, but I do wonder if they would be a bit more understanding and helpful versus the mentality at the public school. Is it worth exploring that option for Jr and Sr year perhaps?  And yes, I know it shouldn't be that way, but there have been so many other issues with that school that it makes me question their collective mentality towards the students there. It seems like the message they give out isn't entirely in line with what you or your family believe (versus some of your very sterotypical neighbors mentalities). I hope I'm making sense- I'm just speaking from experience living in your area versus here.

[Former Member]

you know, we went to a sophomore night at school tonight.  our school really pushes parents to let their kids problem solve/advocate for themselves.  the director of guidance must have said it 10 times tonight. 
The problem is that I continually see that is their answer....your ds should have (insert action).  I feel that is great and I'm on board right up to the time that my kid is disregarded/shut down by people of authority in the school.  Not the first time its happened.

As for the comment about bringing his own food, i did address that with the assist. principal and reminded him that comment doesn't fly with a classified student especially.  He is more friendly/helpful than some at school, but still he said that ds will need to do this soon at college etc.   They don't get it that they are preaching to us to let our kids fend for themselves, but in the same point, they are keeping them from successfully doing so.  does that make sense

If the principal is telling you that your son will have to bring his own food in college, he is completely wrong.  The colleges are required to provide allergen free meals for students with a documented food allergy.  Google the Lesley University Settlement.  It is all there.  I would be tempted to set the principal straight on that one.  Disability laws don`t just vanish just because a student started college.  The laws may be under different entities, but the college is still required to accomodate the student`s allergies.

[twinturbo]

Sounds like my graduating high school. What is it they are doing for their students? Rhetorical question. I'm fed up with the public school system (not teachers).

[sneaker]

I am concerned that that this nurse makes insensitive statements.  In another thread you mentioned that your son passed some food challenges, and I do have concerns what the nurse might say to him about that.

It must be very emotional and take a lot of adjusting to learn you are not allergic to what you always considered dangerous.  I just do not picture this nurse making it easier for him with her statements.

And the school environment seems slightly overwhelming in general.

Are your family and doctors thinking of notifying the school right away or letting him adjust, maybe?  I think he still was not completely allergen free anyway.  Just concerned, will delete if you want.

Again, will delete this whole post if you want. 

[Mfamom]

yes, the nurse is an insensitive B!  she has called him o ut before.  she's very abrasive, thinks she's getting them ready for the "real" world!  This happened before the food challenge.  In fact, this situation is what prompted my ds to go through with the challenge.  He was totally fed up with dealing with nonsense like this.

When he was in the nurse office first day of 9th grade, he dropped off his epi pen and inhaler to her.  she said OH you're the famous XX!  good.  tell your mom to call me about your 504 plan.  Its very babyish and won't fly here at XX high school. 

[CMdeux]

Makes me think that people like THAT in the "real world" are why laws like ADA were written.   

[momma2boys]

Wow mfamom, you have a lot more self restraint than I do!! Ya, just wow.