Dairy Challeneg Today

[MaryM]

DS and DH are at Mt. Sinai for DS's dairy challenge.  I am a total mess.  We decided its better for the kids if I do not go to challenges anymore.  My anxiety is just too much and they sense it.  I can't stop weeping and hyperventilating.  I know he is in good hands.  I know not going was the right decision.  If you have a moment this morning, please say a quick prayer or think of my DS. And if you have an extra moment, please think of me

[CMdeux]

I came so early specifically to offer you a virtual hug, Mary.   

of course that it goes well for them, too.   

[MaryM]

Thanks.  He failed.  Took one sip and had a hive and a scratchy throat after 5-10 minutes.  The gave him some medicine (DH did not say what) and now they hang our waiting for a few hours.  I am bummed for him.  It would have changed his life. 

[CMdeux]

Well, on the bright side, it was neither a very long day nor a very scary one, it sounds like.  So there is that.   

[MaryM]

True.  I am just so sad for him.  I was trying not to get my hopes up but I had dreams about pizza parties at school (5th grade dance, year end party usually have pizza) and an easier time in Middle School.  I swear the dairy allergy is just so hard.  Dairy is everywhere. I am at the point where I do not even want to do the baked egg challenge and I feel sort of guilty bc I haven't been making the milk muffins in the last 2 months bc of DD and what if I had, would that have helped today?  I HATE food allergies.  I can live with my PA/TNA but I just wish my kids hadn't won this genetic prize.

[spacecanada]

Stop beating yourself up about it.  At least you know he's still allergic, which can be reassuring in some ways: all the avoidance isn't for nothing.  It's a good reminder to him as well.  Don't be discouraged.  (I'm not sure if the milk muffins would have made much of a difference.  Even if they increased his tolerance levels, two sips of milk, or even three, wouldn't be a pass either.)

Hugs to you and thinking of your DS today. 

[guess]

  Milk is a significant for children to cope with.  It rewrote my playbook when 'all' I was dealing with was largely PA only.  Then again milk has rewritten its own playbook in terms of outgrowth ages.  It doesn't escape my notice that Sinai is willing to rechallenge often.  I think that means the path for your children is following outgrowth the window is what is largely unknown.

[MaryM]

Thanks.  When he was a baby I was told that most kids outgrew milk by 3/5 - I know it's changed but I feel like it's really a life sentence now.

[Macabre]

Oh MaryM, I'm so sorry.    I've been thinking about him this morning. 

Yes--having milk would have been such a life changer.  I was so, so hoping he'd pass, because yes, as a teen being able to do those things you mentioned would be really great. 

There's still time for him to outgrow.  Maybe in a few years it will happen. 

Regardless, you're dealing with huge disappointment today.  (((hugs for you and your kiddo)))

[CMdeux]

Mary, Boo's DS didn't outgrow until his teens. 

My DD was still pretty allergic at your DS' age, too. 

  It really can all change during adolescence. 

[MaryM]

Thanks for the hugs and encouragement.  I was thinking about Boo's DS.
I'm just feeling very alone.  DH gets it but has never lived it.  I'm not sure if he realizes that I really did ask for a priest when I had the one BAD reaction and thinking about my babies dealing with this overwhelms me sometimes.

[Macabre]

I will add that it's one thing to deal with FAs yourself.  And it's a pain. And it can impact career options and social options. And it's a real pain. 

BUT--it's so, so different to worry about them for your child.  It's just a different dynamic and IMHO a much more difficult one.  I'd toss a couple of other FAs onto my plate if it meant taking DS' FA away from him (and his is just peanut so no comparison really to dealing with egg or milk). 

Of course you dealt with FAs growing up, and I didn't until I had already had DS.  Mine were adult onset.  But with all my allergies and with the FAs my mom said I had as a kid, I know it was my genetic bomb that predisposed DS to FAs (he has outgrown treenuts and when he was very young was sensitive to milk but was never dx).  You really hate that for your child--to deal with all of it. 

So when you posted what you did, my heart hurt a bit more for you. 

It all really sucks. 

But you've got some good folks here to help. 

[guess]

He may handle his stress differently and see his role as more stalwart.  My husband is better at challenges, has an outward appearance of relaxed or indifferent in a procedural role in managing anaphylaxis/allergens.  He's not as strong building management by seeking out data beyond spoon feeding, managing confrontations when necessary and administrative procedures.  Net result is balance between the two of us.  If I were not here on my side of the equation he'd probably manage differently.  As it is he can afford to take his side of the risk management with more facade of aloofness.

[GingerPye]

I don't think it's really known when each child will outgrow --- it's a wild card IMO.  It's not what I would consider a life sentence.  DD failed her baked milk and baked egg challenges this last summer ..... but who knows.  Her body is still changing.  Heck, adults can suddenly develop allergies, so why can't adults "outgrow" allergies? 

I let DH go to the kids' challenges when they were younger, too .... for the same reason.  Now that they are older, I can keep myself in check during challenges. 

Don't give up hope.  But at the same time, you know how to keep your child safe, and it's business as usual, for now.

[MaryM]

Ginger, thank you.  I just feel defeated today.  I know we will keep on and he can still outgrow.